My friend (2.5 years together) was married (separated about 8 years) and has a child from his wife. In my opinion, she takes full advantage of him and he lets him take advantage of it, he even likes to do it! For example, when she calls him and says I need a new laptop, he searches all the portals and pages to find a good offer for them. Of course she has a lot of needs, a new cell phone, a new contract, insurance… There's always something coming… She tells him what to do and what to leave, if she has not done her shopping again, she calls him, "bring times me bread from your parents with "or" I feel like a Coke, you drive past the gas station, bring me one. " At first it even worked in such a way that they talked on the phone or wrote every day, no matter what time. For example, she calls him at 11.30 p.m. And asks if he has this or that. For example, she chose a sweater and he bought it as a gift from the child… In my opinion, this is not possible. I have now introduced a couple of rules, such as Do not write / call after 10 p.m., only when there's a real emergency. I make gifts with the child. For things like new cell phones and more, please get information on the Internet or in a shop, as I have done otherwise.
I recently found out by chance that he secretly (or just didn't tell me because he thought it was just a laptop) found a cell phone with a new contract.
Yesterday he made a tax return for her and did it at her home for over 4 hours. I have to say that until now he has always done it alone for her, this time he wanted to give it to her sensibly so that she can do it herself (of course because I was stressed). I allowed him because it was called "short and one last time". Then she should contact tax advisors if she has any questions. Now it escalated yesterday because suddenly, it was said, she makes the next tax return alone and if she has any questions, he will assist her on the phone… Then it was said that it is not my concern if and where he wants to help her… Overreact I?
HMH. It is his life and his decision how he spends his free time. If he lets her and you dictate, he has to make his own decisions about it. He decided: He helps her. The extent to which this is real "help" remains to be interpreted. I also clearly see an advantage here. However, it is not up to you to prescribe it. You can talk to him about it - of course! - and you should! But how he wants to deal with it is up to him. You will have to decide how it will harm your relationship. And then decide whether that's the man for life or not.
It is completely ok. One can also diverge in the good or at least reconcile afterwards and grow a friendship from it.
Of course you have the right to be selfish. Then of course he has to think about how far he can live with such a person.
According to the golden rule - think about how you would like to be treated and then treat others.
Of course that's stupid for you, but he has a child with this woman. You probably knew that beforehand.
Yes, she probably uses it a little bit, because you can easily research such things yourself. But bring something like Coke if you come over anyway, why not?
Can understand that you only want him for you, but he is just a father. Since it is not 100%.
Does she have a new one? Because if so, I would be less worried. Just trust him, you have no more.
No, she has no new one
Father? I'm a mother of 2 children, I left my ex in peace from the beginning and only report when there are really important things with children… I know very well what it means to have children.
Despite my 2 children I do almost everything alone. And in my opinion, it's not a decision that I keep calling my ex and screaming for him
I think it is somehow clear to me that I have to decide at some point… It only hurts so much because I love him and with him, as a person, I could imagine my future. It will probably mean that I have to decide against our relationship. Otherwise it will ruin me completely and it is not good for my children either because we can never count on him…
I didn't say you have to split up. You just have to make the right decision for yourself. Or he should want to change his behavior!
