Please save the bad guys and cheeky comments like using Duden or something.
Can you correct this text for me? And if you want to add something, also write?
Dear Mrs Müller,
We, the class 10a, have heard that you are neglected to use cell phones in the classroom. My class has discussed the pros and cons and asked me to help you understand our point of view.
First of all, it can be argued that students with learning apps can independently do exercises in the classroom. In addition, these apps provide learning aids, for example, the app "Photomath" as an aid to math calculation paths or graphs display and thus make the task easier to understand. For spelling, there's the "Duden" as an app, which allows the students of the 5th grade to learn the spelling.
More importantly, students can research the web and get needed information faster and better. For example, if the teacher instructs to prepare a short presentation, it can be done quickly without having to hand out tablets or laptops or go to the computer room.
While it could be said that students use the opportunity to secretly google the solutions in tests or class work and thus cheat rather than learn, but this problem can be solved by picking up the cell phones during class work.
However, it is particularly important to us that the students carry the cell phones in emergencies. For example, if a student is missing in my class, I write to the student and ask if he or she is still coming. So I can tell the teacher that a student is still on the way to school or sick. During lessons, accidents can also occur, as well as several cell phones available to students and could quickly call an ambulance instead of going to the secretariat.
We know that you, Mrs. Müller, always have an open ear for us students and that our interests are important to you. Therefore, I hope you convince my arguments to allow the use of Hanys in the classroom.
Overall, the letter is very successful, the majority is also linguistically on a high level, only in the final part there are errors:
For example, if a student is missing my @@@ my @@ class, I'll write the student and ask if he or she is coming. So I can tell the @@ teacher that a student is still on the way to school or sick. During class hours, accidents can also occur. @@@ Several student mobile phones are available @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ soon instead of calling the secretariat @@ to go @@@
We know that you, Mrs. Müller, always have an open ear for us students and our interests important to you are @@@ superfluous word @@. Therefore, I hope you will persuade my arguments to allow the use of Hanys @@ phones @@@ in the classroom.
Danke! What do you mean by superfluous word? So which word did you mean?
Formally ok (except for a few typos s.u.) - you will probably not get much in terms of content.
To "counter it" from the perspective of a skeptical teacher:
1) Teachers usually have a lesson course. In many subjects learning with apps does not offer, because there are simply no good (free) apps. In addition, the teacher lacks the training and much can be learned just as well without an app. Quite apart from that, the Duden app is not for practice, but for reference there.
2) For research. Then many who have too slow Internet, no battery, no reception, etc. And anyone who seriously wants to research, will not do that on a 5 inch screen. Furthermore, it is very easy to switch to whatsapp.
3) That a pupil is ill, he must communicate on his own responsibility to the school. As a rule, it does not matter. In case of accidents you can get your cell phone out, even if it was banned. No teacher would say so.
Typos / Formulations:
… That you are against the use of mobile phones in the classroom compared to negative. "→ rather" critical "
In addition, these apps provide learning aids. For example, the
… Solve during class work.
… Our interests are important (without "you").
"Dear Mrs Müller,
We, the class 10a, have heard that you are neglected to use cell phones in the classroom. My class discussed the pros and cons and asked me to share with you our view of things.
First of all, it can be stated that students with learning apps independently do exercises in the classroom → "doing" is uninspired. Proposal: "can work through". In addition, these apps provide learning aids, for example, the app "Photomath" as an aid to math calculation paths or graphs display and thus make the task easier to understand. For spelling, there's the "Duden" app, which allows fifth grade students to learn spelling.
More importantly, students can research on the Internet and get the information they need faster and better → to what extent? Faster yes - better is questionable. Receive. For example, if the teacher instructs to prepare a short presentation, it can be done quickly without having to hand out tablets or laptops or go to the computer room.
While it could be said that students use the opportunity to secretly google the solutions in tests or class work and thus cheat rather than learn, but this problem can be solved by picking up the cell phones during class work.
However, it is particularly important to us that the students carry the cell phones in emergencies. For example, if a student is missing in my class, I'll write it. So I can tell the teacher that a student is still on the way to school or sick. Accidents may also occur during class hours, with several of the students' cell phones available and could quickly call an ambulance instead of going to the secretariat.
We know that you, Mrs. Müller, always have an open ear for us students and our interests are important to you. So I hope you convince my arguments to allow the use of cell phones in the classroom.
More elegant would be: "Therefore, I hope to convince you with my arguments to allow the use of mobile phones in the classroom." Nevertheless, the "that" constructions are correct, but the more advanced the infinitive brings with it.
Sincerely (No comma after the salutation)
The class 10a "
We know that you, Mrs. Müller, always have an open ear for us students and our interests important to you are @@@ superfluous word @@.
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It does not belong there.
