So i want to have a laptop but somehow i don't dare to want to cry
Well, many with 6 already have the fattest cell phones or other things. For example, I got my cell phone in 8th grade when I was 12/13 years old and this year, because of lockdown and online conferences, I got a MacBook when I was 15.
Just use your mother's laptop, so I "bridged" the time without a laptop
Of course it's okay if you "want" one. Most kids at 10 "want" at least their own laptop. My son, when he was nine, would have liked that too… He's not getting it yet. But you can usually say your wishes, you just have to accept what your parents say.
But you're older than 10?
Yes
Older than 10 if you please
How is completely wrong