Parents strict, school overwhelmed me, alone?

I don't know what to do. My parents are, let's put it this way, not the ones who allow things the most, especially my mom. But lately it's been really boring.

It is so that I have home office half the week and therefore sit in front of the laptop for about half the day and then do my homework, etc. And then in the evening, when I'm done with everything, I might play a computer game or watch a film, sometimes I write with friends.

The thing is my parents blame all the problems I have in my condition that it comes from the laptop + cell phone. So when I'm tired they'll say: Have you played that long again? I also did some tasks. Etc

They have now also introduced a rule that no matter how long we stay up, we have to get up at a quarter to 9 even on the weekend. And since I'm 15, it's not surprising that I go to sleep later and want to sleep longer. Especially on weekends. I'm not talking from 1am but until 11am.

They are also disappointed in me all the time because they think that I'm failing completely in school. The thing is I only have a 4 on my certificate. And that's the half year. And I'm happy with it because the circumstances weren't exactly perfect because of Corona. I have a lot of stress with two subjects but they always say just learn. They don't help me…

Yes, and I don't know what to do because my mom thinks I'm getting further and further away from her, but that's normal at that age. That one is a bit isolated. She thinks up things all the time, e.g. Now before she just said she wants us all to do an hour of zsm sport every day. But she only says that so we can spend time. If I stop doing something with them then at some point they come back to the topic of laptops and that I change, etc. And then my mood is gone again.

And they don't allow me to go to my best friend either. Not to anyone at all. Only a day ago my brother had a friend who stayed for 3 days. The thing is, I still feel so alone and bad with you because I know that you think badly of me and lately I've been looking for more and more distance and I don't know what to do anymore.

Yes No idea. I think I just had to say that and let it out.

Show your parents what you do so the homework can't go away and because you sit by the computer all day you shouldn't play a computer game but go outside, a tip from me, to split up the work better

Yes, I'll try, thanks: / :)

This "question" could just as easily come from me. I feel exactly the same and my mom also says all the time that I do far too little for school, etc. Although I really don't do anything other than assignments and study… I'm currently under so much stress and really just do more things for school, I don't even have time to go out, e.g. To do sports…

and my grades are proper. Also really good, I go to high school and only have a 2 and everything else 1

Your mother and you are in a vicious circle.

Your mum notices and sees that you are not doing well. At the same time, she feels that you are getting further and further away from her. She tries to counteract. Since she has restricted your contacts because of Corona, she can't think of much. She doesn't do this to annoy you, but because she wants to do everything right.

Everything she tries to steer you on the right track just annoys you. The more she tries, the more. This also makes you more and more unhappy, which makes your mother try harder and think about something new.

Do you see the problem

Experiment and see what happens. If you know exactly what is wrong with you, then negotiate more. Say what you need more clearly. She can't see clairvoyance. You give her a really good squeeze and tell her that you love her very much. Then explain to her that she's invading your privacy too much. She should rely on the fact that she raised you well and strong. She could rely on your judgment and that you make an effort. If she wants more closeness, tell her you're going through puberty and currently can't have it. She would have to go through that now. Other times will come for them too.

Send clear signals. Say what you want with words and clear body language. No messing around. It is time you stood up for your concerns, even if it is inconvenient.

And you're welcome to ignore your brother. If he's not nice to you, he doesn't deserve any attention. I threw mine out of my room with great regularity. I can't rule out that he didn't get the door on his head or hit the heels while doing it.

Thank you, how are you right? I just don't know if I dare to tell her like that because I don't want to hurt her

That's really good. Don't let your parents drag you down!

I also go to gym and have a 4 a 3 and ka 4 2er ubd I think that's good too 😂 so you're really MEGAAA good and if you write such good grades anyway then just go instead of studying igt wie so out Yk. Oda do something with friends.

And if your parents don't understand, explain your situation to them

Yes ka if I could help in the sry for the long message xd

Okay thanks.

It is so that I have home office half the week and therefore sit in front of the laptop for about half the day and then the hüs come, etc. And then in the evening when I'm done with everything I might play a computer game or watch one film, sometimes I also write with friends.

You have to sit in front of the PC all day because of school - you have no other choice. But as soon as school is over, you sit back in front of the computer / television in your free time. So you only deal with electronic media all day. Do something different - then your parents will be happy too

They have also introduced a rule that no matter how long we stay up, we have to get up at a quarter past nine even on the weekend. And since I'm 15 it is not surprising that ucv goes to sleep later and wants to sleep longer. Especially on weekends. I'm not talking from 1am but so until 11 Yk.

well 9 o'clock is also a normal time to get up on the weekend. Then you could sleep 3 hours longer anyway than during school time. You also need to see your parents' point of view. They would then have to be completely quiet until noon and show consideration for you. Then you get up, hungry, something for breakfast and 1 hour later there's lunch. You refuse that naturally because you are not hungry because you have just had breakfast. And for that I stood in the kitchen for 1 hour as a mom…
If you live with someone, regardless of whether it is the family or later your partner, then you have to be considerate of each other. Your parents may get up at 7 a.m. And then be quiet for 2 hours - but they can also expect you not to oversleep half the day.

I have a lot of stress with two subjects but they always say just learn. Don't help me…

have you ever asked for your help? Even if they can't help you directly with the subject (e.g. A foreign language they do not speak), then they can help you, e.g. To structure the learning amount well so that you have manageable learning parcels. Or if Corona allows, you may have to pay a tutor

Yes and I don't know what to do because my mom thinks that I keep moving away from her, but that's normal at that age. That one is a bit isolated.

Basically yes, but between "wanting to have some time to yourself" and "no longer with the family" are huge differences. And if after studying you just go back to the TV / computer and sleep until noon on the weekend, you really hardly spend any time with your family

She thinks things up all the time, for example jz before she just said she wants us all to do an hour of zsm sport every day

Well, you are not completely wrong - school sports are canceled and some exercise will certainly not harm you

Yes, thanks for the long answer, I'll try to implement your tips, thank you

You don't need to be so tender with your brother. He can handle it when you speak plain text (I guess now). You can definitely tell your parents your thoughts and opinions. It's all about the tone and the right moment.

Send I-messages. I have a problem with that. I feel… I need…

So I think you should definitely talk to them. I know it's not easy, but nothing else will change. Talk to them, explain how much you do every day and that you just keep studying.

School is of course important, but everyone needs a break from time to time. Especially now when everything is already exhausting due to all the measures. I don't know if you've ever shown your parents your grades and achievements so they can see that it's anything but bad.

It is also important that you tell them that you need time alone. Doing sport together is all well and good, but they have to understand that it is quite normal to be on your cell phone or laptop at your age. And since your academic performance is good, it can't really be said that it is because of that.

Thank you. But your grades are really good anyway. With you it will surely also be wieda… But for me it is just the case that as soon as I do anything else, my mom comes and says things like "study amal" or "why are" so much "on the cell phone? You cell phone addict" and so on… It's really annoying sometimes