On my previous history: I have made it quite difficult for the last 4 years. I've stupid 4 years run after a man and I hoped for more, who wanted nothing from me. I did not know that from the beginning, but soon enough…
On the current situation: In August I decided to complete my preliminary studies. That's not over yet, but it's progressing. 4 years is also a long time and with my now 21 a big part of my life…
And yet she's catching me up in a way now. And there's a man in whom I feel strongly that he is interested in me. We have never met in private. But he works in a cafe next to my work and I'm a regular customer there. The conversations go out of my opinion about customer friendliness (eg he knows where I live, he 'knows' my cats, knows about my plans for the future and and and…). Since I sometimes sit there and work on the laptop I also noticed that he is not with He talks a lot to himself, but it's very difficult for me to ask any questions… I think I just do not have the security after the long disappointment… It's not like that that I'm uninterested But this is exactly how I got to know a man from that time. He also worked there. Clearly I notice the difference, and the present time much more interested… But I can't really get involved now, just because I do not know if he really has interest. And I feel for him it seems like I have absolutely no interest.
I'm seriously considering whether to ask him straight ahead. He actually knows about the matter back then (they were work colleagues) depending on how much he talked about in between, maybe he also knows how long I've been mourning… And without knowing that he wants to be interested and I can't get involved, just because I'm afraid that it ends up as it was then. And it would mean now 'No it's just customer talks for him' the thing would be choppy for me without injury, offense or an unpleasant situation…
Just explain to him that I feel it so that there's more interest from him, I want to play here with open cards and I can only get involved if I know that at least the interest is there…
I just do not know if the situation is then uncomfortable for him… Because I have nothing from him and would have to do it at work (or catch him afterwards)
So he knows everything about you, but you do not know about him because you're too cowardly to ask. How about if you first talk right before you want a relationship again. You make life difficult for yourself. Hanging on someone you've never been with.
I do not want a relationship again. I have nowhere in my mouth that I now want a relationship with the man, or that I would have feelings for him! I just do not want to ruin the opportunity to meet someone again. But as long as I do not know if it is from his side of interest or just friendliness, I can't get involved. This has nothing to do with wanting or not wanting to do, the fear of showing him my interest now, maybe someday really developing feelings for him and then being hurt again is too big. Sure, I would know that he has now interest not the security not there at some point to be injured… But at least that it is not from the beginning for nothing…
No matter what it is, get to know each other and see what happens. Apparently he likes you, but you should also show interest.
