Can someone briefly rate my English argument?

(Tomorrow work, wanted to practice again briefly)

The topic now is simply homeschooling. I'm 9th grade and I take arguments, so please don't pay too much attention to the content. I'm only supposed to write about one point of view

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* Homeschooling in times of corona *

Is homeschooling a good replacement for lessons in real life?

In the following text I'd like to tell you my opinion about this topic. I'll give you arguments for my opinion.

Of course there are also reasons, which speaks for homeschooling, but in my opinion homeschooling isn't a good replacement for lessons in real life.

If there were only zoom meetings with your class mates and teachers, many students (maybe without friends) wouldn't have any contact to other people. For example, look at my best friend. She's not allowed to go out in her freetime, so school is the only time a day where she's able to see her friends.

Another point against homeschooling is that a few guys from village don't have a good internet connection in their houses, so they aren't able to speak clearly in calls or zoom meetings. There's one person in my class, who didn't have a good connection in times of homeschooling.

Finally, the main disadvantage is that poor people don't have the chance to do their work clean, because many of them aren't able to use smartphones or a laptops.

So overall, I would argue that it's important to see class mates and teachers in real life because I think it helps people in trouble a lot more, than zoom meetings.

In itself quite ok, but you could embellish your arguments a little, prove or something else.

But you can find out your point of view.

Tomorrow, pay a little more attention to the grammar and at the end take another look at whether you don't like anything in your text.

Always remember that you are writing this text to e.g. Help someone who does not have so much plan on the topic.

I hope I was able to help you just a little bit

What do you mean by decorating and covering? I've already tried that and somehow I can't do it better than I did above.

Can you tell me more precisely what to look out for? Would be really important to me, also with the grammar, where are errors?

I would not write of course twice.

Of course there are also reasons, which are for homeschooling

You can simply leave out which are.

is that a few guys from the village

Better: People living in villages

Opinion is written in lower case.

do their work clean

Maybe "properly" instead of clean?

Overall, I think your text is ok. You could explain the arguments again to be convincing. I think I would even add another argument, I think it's a bit short.

Thank you very much!

Can you give me a tip on how I can explain the arguments further? I've already tried to embellish it as far as possible.

So you definitely used a nice different word for each of your arguments. The teachers are always very happy about that.

At the end you keep going back to the Zoom Meetings, but that is not a bad thing because you name essential aspects such as internet problems etc. You also give examples with your friends that is also good.

But you don't need something like that there are definitely pro arguments, because the teacher wants your opinion exactly and therefore no uncertainties.

Just take a sip at the end of the work and then look up again and see if you can still find something, whether you can combine the sentences or something similar.
Definitely do the catchwords like you did here.

I'm not a great professional either, I'm in 10th (gym) and I'm very good at English.

Okay great! I'm actually good at English, so I just wanted to know more about what I did wrong.

Is homeschooling a good replacement for lessons in real life?

In the following text (comma) I'd (Short forms like this should be avoided in the written language - at least in official letters.) Like to tell you my opinion about this topic. I'll give you arguments for my opinion. (combine to a sentence)

Of course (comma) there are also reasons (no comma) which speaks (grammar) for homeschooling, but in my Opinion (RS) homeschooling isn't a good replacement for lessons in real life. (alternatively: real-life lessons)

If there were only zoom meetings with (---) class mates and teachers, many students (maybe without friends) (formulation, position, form) wouldn't have any contact to other people. For example (comma) look at my best friend. (Sentence position) She's (see above) not allowed to go out in her freetime, so school is the only time a day where (word) she's (see above) able to see her friends.

Another point against homeschooling is that a few guys (word) from (a word is missing here.) Village don't have a good internet connection in their houses, so they aren't (so) able to speak clearly (you can already clearly speak, are poorly understood.) in calls or zoom meetings. There's (see above) one person in my class, who didn't have a good connection in times of homeschooling.

Finally, the main disadvantage is that poor people don't (so) have the chance to do their work clean (expression), because many of them aren't (so) able to use smartphones or a laptops (they could already have but no.).

So overall, I would argue that it's (see above) important to see class mates and teachers in real life because (I think) it helps people in trouble a lot more (no comma) than zoom meetings.

The bold text needs to be corrected. I hope I haven't missed anything.

For vocabulary and spelling, I recommend a good (online) dictionary, e.g. Pons.com,

for the grammar ego4u.de and englisch- help.de - and stay away from the Google wrongdoer and his dull colleagues!

:-) AstridDerPu