Homophobic parents, what can the office do?

So. Half a year ago I accidentally came out with my parents as gay and gay.
Immediately after the outing, they promised me that I would be disinherited, that I would no longer receive any support from them, that I would have to change schools because I was accepted by my current one, and threatened to send myself to my relatives in Poland to help me reflect.

For now. I'm 16, will be 17 in the next few days, and have always had a 'laala' relationship with my parents.

When I wanted to go to the office a few days after the outing, I was told there that I should come back next week because someone who was somehow responsible was on vacation.

But I couldn't wait. After all, there were fierce discussions every night, which always ended with tears and screams.

Btw. When I only got home that evening at 6:00 pm because I went to the office after school, they gave me an ultimatum as a "reaction".
Either I change and I can stay at home.
Or I stay the way I'm and I'm kicked out.

So the next day I went to the pastor.

I explained my situation to him. But in the end he just looked at me and asked what I want from him now.

Then when I asked him if he could talk to them because I would like to stay at home, he did so after school, privately, with them.
I didn't hear anything from the conversation, but I noticed that they didn't learn much from it, except that I didn't have to change schools and stayed at home.

After that, there was an argument almost every third day.

Months passed.
During that time, I was not allowed to meet friends for fear that I would secretly meet other gays.

As before, I didn't get any pocket money. I always had to pay the school lunch from the Christmas bonus. Which is still 'ok'. But also readings and school trips?

The more I realized that I have no hope here, the greater the desire to move forward. To make friends. However, I couldn't. My parents stopped me.

Now, before Easter, I was wondering why I'm still helping with the household. (Yes. I help a lot.)

So I didn't do anything for a while. I refused to clean the windows. To clean the oven.

As expected, this escalated into an argument. That it was always a 1vs 2, I locked myself in my room. After a while they kicked the door in and took my room apart because I was hiding my notebook from them.

Since then I've realized that I have to get out of here.
I feel worse every day, I can hardly sleep, can't laugh at all, I'm constantly afraid.

I want and have to go to the office. However, I can only go there unnoticed after the "vacation". But I've been afraid of them since the last action.

What experiences have you done?

Do you have any acquaintances and other family members in your area with whom you could find accommodation? This situation is really incredibly bad and I think if your parents come too close to you etc the police and the youth welfare office can also help you in this case.

I think there's massive pressure on you, psychologically and also physically (kick in the door). Go to the police and describe your situation. You will be helped!

Sounds silly, but my family has "scared away" all my relatives
My godmother knows that I'm gay. She also drove me home when I was in office.
However, I notice that she is not really interested in supporting me. She hardly writes back and I know that I would be a burden for her

I kept telling them that this was completely normal.
I suggested going to the office together to talk about it.
However, I notice that they are building their own filter bubble. They never want to compare their upbringing to others

I can only tell you that maybe you should contact the police, they can best help you. How your parents treat you is inhumane and absolutely not understandable.

I once had a girl with me for a while who was at home in a similar situation to you, but the reason was different.

The youth welfare office refused to help because the girl was shortly before her 18th birthday. She couldn't stay in my family forever. Help came only when she threatened to kill herself from the diakonia.

You can only ask for all possible places for help, starting with the youth welfare office via AWO, Diakonie, Caritas etc. So that you can get out of there. You must urgently demonstrate that your well-being in such a parental home is endangered.

I'm very sorry that you have to experience something like this, parents who love their child only under certain conditions got stuck in yesterday or in religious fancies. But once you become a father, you know how not to do it.

God, I could throw up again. Something like that are not parents…

I don't think you need to argue with them anymore. And unfortunately I know enough about the "office" so that I have no great hopes. Unfortunately, this is a rather sluggish, toothless tiger.

To be honest, in your situation, I would consider going away for a while. It really comes down to a major police search. When I realize that my parents are really looking for me, they somehow send them the message "you don't want me anyway". And that I would like to come out of my hiding place if they have publicly apologized to me.

It's easier said than done. Without support and certainly a certain amount of change, you can forget such a plan, especially now in the corona crisis. And you have to be clear that there are some serious words from the police afterwards.

If you find that this is not an option for you, you could consider whether you can endure it somehow for a year (until you reach the age of majority) and prepare a "ghosting" in time. So e.g. Make a financial reserve and accommodation clear. Then to leave on time for my 18th birthday and leave a note "Thank you for all the evidence that you don't love me. Here is my account number for maintenance payments".

Pure curiosity: Did the girl's parents convey any form of absence during her absence that she admitted a mistake and wanted to change something? Or was it more "come here so you can get your spanking"?

The mother was a single parent, with no trace of insight. There were four children in the family and one of them was totally disturbed and tyrannized the whole family. The mother just stood by this child and hit the other three.