I was sitting at my desk today and my mother came up with the sentence "I thought I knew you!" and the laptop in… She read the chat between me and my friend because I forgot to close the page. My mother found out that I was feeling really bad and that I was scratching myself. At first she was very angry, but then she hugged me and started crying. We then went for a walk and I told her everything. She then said that she loves me and wants to help me, no matter what I do or what happens… I promised her I would never cut me again.
It actually helped me a lot to talk to my mom about it, but it also feels weird, as if none of this should have happened (because I believe our relationship will never be the same as it used to be). But I'm trying to start over now…
The main reason for scratching and why I feel so bad: the school is very, very stressful at the moment and I can't cope with it anymore… My mother asked me if I might / should change schools.
My question: what can I do so that the stress is no longer so great / I can cope better with it (so that I don't change schools) and generally feel as happy as I used to be? (my mother accepts and understands why I don't want professional help)
Well first of all I like and many others didn't get sick with the term with r, we rather say cut.
Please do not tell yourself that you do not need or can't take professional help. Unfortunately, this is inevitable. Self-harming behavior is difficult. It depends a little on your age. Are you married 13/14 or older?
If there's actually a mental illness behind it, you unfortunately need help. It could be depression or something like that. In any case, when you hurt yourself, it's no longer mild depression. So please don't risk slipping deeper into it.
Something from me as a deterrent. I also thought for a long time that everything was fine. I started svv when I was 20 and it was all extremely tight and I wasn't saved by any friend. Diagnosis of borderline disorder.
But now I'm already at a point where I'm really deep into it. It is very difficult to get a grip on that again.
Start small first. For example there would be the telephone counseling. They even have an app called the kriesenkompass and there are some tips. Still, a conversation on the phone would be good. You can also text them if you have problems using the phone.
And as I said, at least a therapist would be important. You don't have to worry about going to a clinic or something, that is rarely the case. If you have any more questions, please ask me. I want to help sick people because I know how difficult it is.
First, your mother reacted great, understanding and loving, and that's really not always the case. That you now believe that your relationship will never return to normal is understandable, but as an outsider, I very much doubt it. I told my mother a few things myself, so that she… Let's call it angry and horrified… Had reacted, and after that I thought for a few weeks that I would have to look for a new place to stay until she noticed that it wasn't reasonable reason is to be in trouble. It's been like that a few times and it always normalized, so please don't worry about that right now.
To deal with your problem with stress. There are two possibilities:
You recognize what triggers the stress in you (if you postpone things for too long, you lose the overview and thus forget a lot, etc.) and look for ways to eliminate it.
You look for other drains for the stress. For example a diary, a plasticine ball, a pillow that you can beat - anything that will help you not to hurt yourself.
For the former: make a plan for when you want to do what. In the beginning it is very strenuous, but after a while it really gets a lot better and makes things easier for you. If you quickly lose track of things, I would recommend Microsoft's To-do app, it really reminded me of a lot… I'm sure you understand how it works, otherwise you can ask again.
I hope you will feel better soon and that you will not relapse again. Nobody deserves to be hurt by someone like that, even if you are the culprit yourself. With the support of your family and friends, I'm sure that you can do it with enough willpower… And yet I would recommend at least a consultation with a therapist. You really don't have to be uncomfortable and a person who admits that he needs help is stronger than a person who doesn't.
Love, Shadow
I've already had two online consultations… And I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't know me and is trying to solve my problems. Also, my mother used to see a therapist and it got worse…
But that's not a good argument just because someone because someone has had a bad experience. How do you imagine that? For example, depression is a disease. It's not even going away just now. Find a therapist who you like. Helping yourself is a little difficult. What one can always recommend is to talk to good friends. Simply entrust your worries and problems to someone, the parents are not necessarily the right ones for you. As I said, take a look at the krisenkompass. There are a few tips on what to do when things aren't going so well, so you can also help yourself a little.
Well, divide everything up and make to-do lists, then it's not too much all at once. And you should probably take one day in the week when you don't do anything for school. You could talk to your mother if something is bothering you and maybe try it with professional help
I would advise you to do more for school. Just make your own daily routine. Write it e.g. On a piece of paper. Example. Get up, have breakfast, study, lunch, dinner.
Go to the doctor and get advice… Can be many reasons why one cuts oneself genetically
Do more for school? I do so much for school that I can't do anything else! Thanks anyway… But I've already tried planning…
Oh, snail. Then I would say spend more time with your mom. Go out, do something, etc.
Yes, thank you…
