18 years old
It sounds sad but unfortunately it is like that.
Why do I think so?
When my grandpa passed away, I didn't feel anything the same with my cousin.
I don't know what love is I don't know how to express it or I don't feel anything towards my parents or other people. Now when I say I love you, I feel like I'm lying to myself. My parents used to hit me very often. Adhs was a part of my life too. Always felt disadvantaged and excluded.
Buy everything myself from my training money. Except for food and clothes. My sisters got everything they wanted without arguing, even when it came to laptops around 1300 euro and I have to beg to get something even when it comes to going out. Cell phones I always got the old ones of my sister you usually had a display damage. Until I could buy one myself. My whole room from my wallet.
The only feelings I really know and can express are hatred and anger.
I'm finished inside but don't show anyone.
I eat everything in me.
The problem is that you have to accept and like yourself first before you can feel something for others.
I have accepted myself in my opinion. I'm satisfied with myself but not with others.
You have been traumatized. One consequence of this can be that you become numb inside. I would strongly recommend that you seek help. Talk to your family doctor or a psychiatrist. It is not good at all to figure everything out with yourself. You have to talk about it and show it.
Besides that, everyone grieves differently. Some cry, others don't.
If you don't feel comfortable at home, move out. There are many places where you can get support.
Unfortunately it happens that some parents put one or more children at a disadvantage. Be true to yourself and don't lie to yourself - if you don't love them, don't tell them either. Only if you want it yourself and feel like it.
All the best to you!
