I'm 17 / w and I'm still going to school because I'm doing my Abi. I often argue and cry with my mother not only because of her, but because I also find that I can't manage anything in my life. I buffalo and learn a lot for school and in the end I'm just an average student. That my brother still keeps me down with his insults like, you're a worthless. "Burns in my soul too, then I'm always so demotivated, listless, limp and talk only with my mother, if I really have to…
I'm glad that I have holidays now and would like to rest from school. But then the stress begins here at home with me. My mother argues with me again, my brother thinks he knows everything, I'm without energy and I'm in bed most of the day (instead of pursuing hobbies, going out) and I think the whole time it would be like if I just did not would live more.
One important thing has to be added: I really do not want to feel that way, but somehow I can't help but keep thinking…
Then I think a lot of bad stuff that does not do me any good, like the last retreat that went bad, or go to social medias and look at the classmates pages (also on whatsapp) and somehow feel useless and stupid. I do not know… One day I even deleted my Whatsapp account (only Whatsapp had deleted Insta for a long time) and I felt good that I did not go to the profile picture every few minutes…
This is too much for me at the moment and I think that I'm not worth anything. Does not come to me with confidant, because my mother as a trusted person has long died for me and with my father you can just as little. I do not want to tell a teacher at school like that and just want to find myself good and not "unnecessary" again in this world.
You know, sometimes I also feel that I feel good when I'm alone and not necessarily at school with friends / classmates. But I can't avoid that, because I'll be in contact with people. Be it at school or at home.
I thought to buy a laptop for myself with my saved money, because I like it when I have a thing that I do not have to share with anyone. I saved a lot of money and thought it would be good if I could buy my own laptop.
Do you have tips on how to stop feeling so useless and shy?
Yes, I have tips and even own, similar experiences as you did. Earlier.
I was in good midfield at school, but I never satisfied my stepfather.
He jostled a lot and always sat next to me when I did homework.
Only I did not start homework, because he had something to complain about anyway.
He said to me, you are the stupidest of the world, you will never become sensible. Well, stupidly, adolescents still believe something adults, especially parents say.
I was getting worse and worse at school, but my class teacher took me to the staff room during a break and asked me what was wrong with me, and I was getting worse and worse. By skillful questioning he came behind it what I got to hear from the stepfather.
He said, now look good. I'm also an adult and you can believe me, if I tell you now, not a father determines what can become of you, but only you. Believe me, if I tell you, you can become anything you want to become, if you make sure!
He gave me tips, I should as soon as father ceases to be interested in my tasks, go, learn. Father lost anyway the desire to worry about a stupid from the yes anyway nothing can. My teacher gave me a couple of weeks and then realized, aha, he got it and is now learning diligently for himself and not for dad.
So I had a sponsor, a mentor!
And that's what you're missing right now! Someone who gives you courage, gives you confidence and stands by you, sponsors you like the father of Steffi Graf.
Do not you have a grandma, or someone who is firstly a little grown-up, not only able to support you, but also could talk to mother and brother in the conscience and motivate more positive for you?
With the help of my class teacher and later with the support of my stepfather's brother, I learned a lot.
It was not until after my apprenticeship I had even improved my job, that I told this stepfather, now look what the guy is so stupid that nothing can ever be worthwhile. Put him some proof of income and said, look more closely, the guy from your opinion, never what can be earned now already 3 times as much as you old hand. That's why I'll tell you now, what a failure you as a father, mentor and sponsor were all along the line. You have never been a role model, you can't imagine anything, but nothing at all about my success.
So, the only thing you're missing right now is positive support, a mentor, a helper, a motivator, or simply a role model!
If you can't find a good role model to motivate anywhere, you should try to master everything without such support. This is more difficult, but also feasible.
You can talk to a human. There's free pastoral care on the internet and over the phone. You can also go to a psychologist.
I'm christ. God loves you and wants you to live. If you want to know something that will convince me that there's God, then you can ask me in the comments.
All the best
All right, I also believe in God. I do not want to take my life, but I always have that urge in my head, because everything is going stupid. No, I can't do that… Only this thought is constantly in my head…
Put him some proof of income and said, look more closely, the guy from your opinion, never what can be earned now already 3 times as much as you old hand. That's why I'll tell you now, what a failure you as a father, mentor and sponsor were all along the line. You have never been a role model, you can't imagine anything, but nothing at all about my success.
Absolutely awesome!
The stupid face of the stepfather, I would have loved to see ;-P
And respect for your teacher! He understood his craft!
Yes this teacher was great! Such are too rare.
It's already a generation ago.
Many, like you, lack a healthy degree of self-esteem. A lack of self-confidence is not an unalterable fate! First of all, it is important that you recognize certain connections, see through them and then take the right steps. What could help you to strengthen your self-confidence?
Try for example As possible not to compare with others. No one is just like you. Everyone inherited certain personality traits and grew up in a different environment. Because of your uniqueness, it makes little sense to compare yourself with others.
Running after an ideal image of you also does not contribute to a healthy self-esteem. You probably did not invent such an ideal image yourself, but it comes from those who have educated or otherwise influenced you. It would be better if you decide yourself who or what you want to be - so be yourself! That gives you more of a sense of strength and security. Below I would like to give you a few tips that you could try:
Take z. B. A little thing before (clean up the room, work in the household, etc.) and pull it through. The more often you do that, the more little success experiences you will have. The success in turn strengthens your self-confidence.
Also regularly look for a way to physically engage and power you out. Maybe you try swimming, cycling, jogging, etc. This leads to increased release of endorphins, which in turn triggers feelings of happiness.
Another possibility would be if you are creative. Build or make something useful. Having achieved something raises self-confidence. How about trying something new? You could z. B. Participate in a class, learn a musical instrument or similar. In doing so you will get together with other people and acquire new skills and abilities. That, too, could give your self-confidence a new boost.
Many who lack self-esteem do not have a healthy relationship to their own selves. You have always something to complain about and are never satisfied with your services. They always think badly of themselves and do not let their hair down. If you feel the same way, then it's high time to turn things around. Instead of condemning yourself and being bad to yourself, try the opposite: be good to yourself, be aware of something beautiful, and understand your mistakes and weaknesses.
Just try the simple exercise by saying to yourself again and again: "I like you!" Maybe this sounds a little silly to you, but over time it will be effective. So you give yourself what you have heard so far from others too little or not at all. A healthy self-esteem can only arise if you accept yourself unconditionally. Do not take this self-assumption on conditions such. B. Performance or perfection. So take care when you are not perfect!
What strengthens the self-confidence, are, as already mentioned, successes. Since every person achieves success somewhere, but does not always perceive it, he should learn to be aware of it. If you think you are not successful, it may be because you are simply not convinced of your abilities and accomplishments. Learn to believe in yourself. Also try to build on past successes.
If you've gotten used to comparing yourself with others, then you're damaging your self-confidence. Do not forget that every person is unique and valuable. Your actual value does not depend on being able and doing as much as others.
Everyone has other talents and abilities and has grown up in a different social environment. For these reasons alone, it makes no sense to compare yourself with others. It is better to look at what you have achieved and achieved in the course of your life. There are certainly things that you can do better than most.
Besides all these tips, you should not lose sight of one (if you believe in God): you are precious in the sight of God! This is z. B. Out of the words of Jesus, through which he makes clear to his disciples where
Thanks for the star! 🙂
