Just imagine: you're getting to know oriental beauty from far-off Istanbul, highly educated, and more recently with little more than your laptop, a few suitcases and an employment contract, in a foreign land. Everything is going great and you find yourself in a relationship again after a few weeks.
Which intercultural faux pas should be avoided at all costs?
Your question is very specific and helps me answer, give advice.
And that's just asking them where to find the "faux pans" of Turkish-Oriental kind. With her education, she understands your question and appreciates it. Conversely, imagine that you have to flee to a foreign country, you find someone who is interested in you. Would not it be good if he / she asked you what your culture is about and what you should avoid. That's almost a declaration of love, at least a welcome.
Certainly she will be interested in learning German habits from you. That connects you.
I fully agree with that, with only one supplement:
The request if you step into a faux pas to make yourself aware of it so that it does not happen again and you can at least try to understand what the problem was.
First of all: totally beautiful story, wish you both good luck!
Basically, I do not see such a big risk that you could step into a faux pas, as long as you are careful, empathic and sincere. Maybe a few typical misunderstandings and differences between the Turkish and the German culture, which have become aware of me as someone who grew up with both cultures themselves:
In Turkey, as well as in many other southern European or Middle Eastern countries, it is common for people to eat. That's just part of the good sound. Friends and other loved ones are invited home to eat, which is not rejected on principle, because otherwise it would be rude. Sometimes southerners are irritated that Germans do not invite them to dinner. They think then, they would not fully accept / appreciate them or you would be cool to them. Here is a fitting example: http://www.spiegel.de/sport/fussball/borussia-dortmund-ciro-immobilie-kritisiert-mitspieler-a-1019777.html Your friend would certainly be very happy and consider it a sign of respect / esteem, if you would introduce it to your family and, for example, Your parents cook a delicious German meal for them on Sundays.
The article also ties in with a second point of friction, namely the mentality of the Germans. I try to say that I'm free of judgment, but people who grew up in southern countries perceive the mentality of Northern and Central Europeans as cool and distant. It is difficult to put into words exactly, but southerners are mostly emotional, heartfelt, louder, more fiery, more spontaneous, more spirited… In the negative sense, of course, more effervescent. Central Europeans, as I have often heard from Turks as well as from Greeks and Latinos, are, on the other hand, considered very rigid, not very communicative, rational, closed, isolated, "anti-social" (in the sense of not being involved in so many social interactions) , felt mechanically. So it could be that your girlfriend feels the Germans (especially in these cold winter days) as cool.
Then perhaps the topic of national pride: In Germany, it is rather frowned upon to possess national pride, in Turkey, however, it is very respected and widespread. If you do not know how patriotic your girlfriend is, you might want to start with some sensitivity when you talk about Turkey. Of course, the Turks themselves know that their country is at junk-level in many ways compared to a state as sophisticated as Germany. And if your girlfriend comes from Istanbul, educated and not religious, then she'll also know that Erdowahn is a dirty autocrat. Nevertheless, she is probably proud of her culture, language, cuisine, music, and so on. Therefore, you should be sensitive not to say anything derogatory or condescending to Turkey in general.
In terms of relationships, most Turkish women, as far as I know, whether religious or non-religious, have a desire for something very solid with a perspective of marriage. This is simply their ideal image, which is exemplified by social and media. It would of course be nonsense, right now to make any pressure right at the beginning and thinking about marrying. First enjoy your time and see how you fit together, everything else can then be thought and talked when the time is right. But I just want to tell you, do not be surprised if she should confront you with this wish or thought. You do not have to understand it directly as an appeal or something like that, but maybe she'll just say something to you out of emotion, because deep in her is her ideal of a relationship (that one day it ends in a marriage ).
Well, otherwise, in principle I recommend to be as honest as possible, and to talk best in first-person messages. "I perceive that…", "I feel the feeling in me, that", etc. This can prevent many misunderstandings. This happens so often that things that one sullenly notes are not pronounced, and therefore it comes to misunderstandings or conflicts. Conflicts that do not have to exist would be true
Thanks for this very detailed and informative answer.
My pleasure!
