Why is my husband secretly pushing dildos / objects into the bum?

I don't know what to do. I need advice or answers. I can't ask family or friends, I don't want to just expose my husband.

So: I was on my husband's laptop to do something for work, but I wanted to take a look around on Facebook beforehand. When I opened the website my husband was still logged in. Yes I know you don't sniff, but I did it anyway.

Then I came across a chat between my husband and a guy from our village. The two know each other, but not really what to do with each other. Chatted about this and that. And suddenly the guy sent pictures of himself and a huge dildo in the but. He made up his mind about something (he describes something, but doesn't exactly name it). Tie something up so that it doesn't slip out. And not the way my husband usually does. A few days later he asked my husband if he wanted to come over after work. That's it.

The chat was suddenly deleted a few days later! I was shocked, of course. I checked the laptop and found videos of my husband pushing dildos in the bottom. I'm really shocked. I mean why is he doing this? Why secretly? We have a bomb sex life. We try a lot, have a lot of toys, hardly any taboos. But something in his bottom was a taboo. It's been almost a week since I read and saw it. I just don't know how to talk to him about it. But maybe what happens next is also fear.

And then there are so many questions. Why is he doing this secretly and not telling me anything? How long has he been doing this? Above all, did he have sex with the guy? Or with others?

Difficult situation. Either he wants to try something new or he's gay. Otherwise I really have no idea. You should talk to him I would say

Yes Lenovo,

now you've sniffed, and now the worm is in you. If you sniff, you'll always find something, so you don't do that.

Shove a finger in the back of your husband's next sex and see how he reacts.

And why is that a taboo he can do what he likes

When I address the topic, he knows immediately that I have read the chat. I couldn't have experienced it otherwise. Because I have no contact with the guy. I only know him from sight

😅 How it ends is 50: 50😅😅

Every woman can put her finger in the but of the man without any obligation during sex. I'm just thinking how I would react then. Unfortunately has not done so far.

I once said to him for fun, but his but is not an entrance, just an exit🤷♀️😅 Imagine I put my finger in it and then he is "indignant" or whatever and pretends not to be Thing is. So you know what I mean? 🤔

Yes definitely talk. I want that. Just how, without feeling caught or attacked?

That actually sounds very open between you. On the other hand: Assuming he likes dildos in strange men's butts, would you tell the wife instead?

Just ask carefully about the fantasies that he has.

Actually, I don't see your marriage in danger from the outside.

I say yes, sex life is super fun. And when gay sex is alluded to on TV or somewhere else, or you see two men kissing or really having sex, that disgusts him. He is not anti-gay, not misunderstood. None of that makes sense.

When it comes to sex, you should be able to tell yourself everything, your preferences, what you like, and what not. If I have a sex fantasy that I don't trust my partner to say, then I have to live it out with other, like-minded people.

I think I have to put everything on one card. I just tell him how it was that I was on his laptop and read this chat. Then all the cards are on the table and must tell the truth.

No Lenovo, please don't do that. First, it's sniffing and second, it's exposure.

"The thoughts are free" is a very old song. It works so well between you, why do you want to risk it all now? Please let him have his secret fantasies. You don't believe what fantasies many people have that they Can't tell anyone.

You don't know if he met the man. Wait at least for DAS again if there are indications that they are meeting.

Men are only human.

That is the minor problem here. Didn't sniff, but accidentally came across it.

Maybe he just looks at how others do it?