I do not know how to start exactly. My boyfriend and I have a very complicated relationship, he brought with him in this regard his daughter, who now lives with us since December.
Actually, I do not know exactly where to start.
We have been together since April 2014 and have had a really hard time.
And again and again there are quarrels by his daughter.
As in our last dispute. It started because I just asked if we could see Netflix as well. His daughter has Netflix on the laptop.
He responded badly and then I just went to the bedroom and locked myself, which I always do as soon as we quarrel. And that happens very often with us. I can't explain it in detail to understand what has happened again and again in our quarrels. Time and again it was when I say something against his 15 year old daughter, then he holds her hand over her head. Anyway, I had locked myself again, and then I'm sleeping
Should the text go further?
Anyway, you should definitely disconnect from him… Beating, whether slapping or beating is an absolute no-go and should always lead to separation! He will do that again and again, that's no love! Besides, your relationship does not sound happy, harmonic, and safe anyway.
In addition, one should question whether he deals with his daughter so synonymous.
You certainly are not your own fault, what kind of a way to beat your partner? I do not know how great your patience is, beating is the very last… What is this relationship that is struck? You beat your enemies, but not your partner… I would not let that happen and leave… My opinion and I think I'm not alone.
You did not finish writing, but from experience;
Mostly there's a lack of communication
first try to start and maintain a new culture of cultivation; I messages "I have the impression… I feel… Ect." instead of "you are… You have… Ect"
if he slaps you once, it's hopefully the first and last time;
If not;
Suggest that you make a family therapy together and if you can't afford that, there's pastoral care in Protestant churches, they are free.
If he does not respond,
tell him that the next time you go to the police or victim assistance and then do it
In my first marriage, it got worse and worse until I had to split up so as not to get killed
In our current marriage we have done it together, only after I went to the victim help did we attend therapy separately and now we have also through God's Word (I have learned to respect and subordinate myself = NOT TO UNDERTAKE) and Grace One loving and fulfilling relationship.
All the best to you!
I hope everything is ok with you. Worry me because the text ended so abruptly.
Ask yourself if you are still happy with him and could live on forever. If not, then you better separate from him. But try to talk to him before.
Me too 😅
He does not seem to love you. His daughter is far above you. Do you even have to know if you want to continue doing this?
That his daughter means to him more than anything else is clear his flesh and blood would never say to him I would have to come first.
He loves his daughter and no he does everything for her because there's no limit he would and never beat her. She is his queen, that's why we always argue because he does not let anything come to her and always takes her under his protection and holds her hand over her head
He was never agressief before but we have often argued only so never.
Unfortunately, I could not continue writing and continued to write in an answer
Let's be honest, is this a relationship based on love?
Please do not misunderstand me, but do you want to live your relationship with problems of such kind?
If the daughter is the problem, then you must pull the two together when it comes to education or anything else. Otherwise, the problem always (!) With one of you both hang.
And if that does not work then your relationship will not succeed either.
And if your friend looks at such things and stupidly puts you, then it has no more salvation anyway.
Start a new life before you kill yourself in front of an ever-growing mountain of problems.
To be honest, I've often wondered if he loves me. And I asked him too. As for his daughter, she has done a great deal, her mother does not care for her, and in December of last year she moved in with us. The time before that had escalated. And she was not with us from April to December. In the time we had no quarrels nothing. She also admitted that she wants to get back together with his expatriate. What I Understand Children just want to have dad and mom together. It is so hard.
I myself am the foster father of 2 children who are out of the house today. For me it was very difficult times and 7 hard years, if you have nothing to report!
Only after my wife has realized that both parents have to say yes or no has it improved. Because the children could not go to the one who always says yes, while the other says no.
Today, the children are very proud of me (including my wife), because they have become something that would not have been possible without me.
But I advise you anyway, disconnect from him!
As long as he is only with his daughter, you will always be unhappy.
Unfortunately, our ability to speak properly and openly in our society is lost
and constantly arguing is not a permanent condition
Still my tip; Let yourself be helped (or just you if he refuses), whether a seminar, communication course, therapy or pastoral care, better you start before it is really bad, just because of the new situation.
If you can do more with that (that's actually my # 1 tip) praying and God's peace, forgiveness and help in Jesus.
Of course you should not come first. I did not mean that either. But at least share the place with her.
But you are not important to him. His daughter is much more important to him than you. And so much that he would even beat you. But that's not how it should be. If he does not realize that. And not that you CAREFULLY cares for them, then it has no future. He spoils her so totally.
Mine Ma broke up at that time and I hated my stepfather at first. He determined from the beginning with. It was normal for me. Meanwhile, I like him and call him dad. It should be that way. If your partner does not realize that, the future does not look very happy.
