I would really need your help… My son is 14 and really pubescent really doll… He is actually a dear, smart, ambitious and balanced boy with very good men. Well… Actually… Before c.a. 4 months ago he got a huge growth spurt and is still in it! Also, he came in last month in the vocal break… Actually, all normal for boys in his age, but he behaves totally funny since then… He is very fast aggressive and is always irritated… In addition, he screams his big sisters all the time and zickt rum… He respects me (his mother) and my husband (his father) somehow not at all… His grades have deteriorated completely! Last year he had 1.5 in high school, this year 3.7 with displacement risk… We have pretty strict consequences and if he comes home too late or plays too much on the laptop he also gets a righteous punishment… But a few weeks ago he joined beaten a 15-year-old in the schoolyard and he smashed his nose… Of course he got punishment enough here, too, I'm just terribly afraid that he does something like that again… He could do something. He's my youngest child and I'm really attached to him, but for a few months his behavior is just impossible! I'm afraid that he might be on the wrong track… Not a few teenagers start with the drugs and the alcohol… And I think if he stands at the cash register and buys alcohol, nobody asks him for his ID, because he actually sees very grown-up… Can you help me? Can you give me some tips and tell me if his behavior is normal?
This behavior is unfortunately normal in most cases. I'm 14 myself, and I would be more aggressive with such punishments.
Talk to him maybe in peace. Maybe your son is playing a video game that does not suit him. Look at his laptop, what he's doing there. But do not tell him about it.
If he plays something bad, you have a reason for his behavior.
Unfortunately, I can't help you either.
Maybe you can ask him if you can watch the laptop with what he plays. Or you play with him, I do not know if that works on the laptop. Maybe then just take turns. Then he feels that he is valued by you.
Above all, let him have his freedom, you can try to set times with him, but if he does not want that, leave it
You are not seriously responsible for "Killer Games"…
This is like you said at this age completely normal, that you do not like being walked around so much…
Not just like that! If rather watch or ask, maybe even with parents of his friends if they know more. That would be anything but helpful to make him more aggressive if you secretly go to the laptop (if it is exclusively his own). Especially if he is technically gifted, he will notice
Often, however, such games also make aggressive
If she just looks, he will not notice, I think
Abnabelung, demarcation and if necessary emotional outbreaks are as far as normal, physical attacks are not. At no age are beatings normal.
You should have a quiet talk with your husband and son. Many children also feel insecure with their new role. In part, they are also overwhelmed with physical changes. Especially when they are laughed at. I have no boys, but I could imagine that just the voice break with boys can cause problems if the voice does not even know if she is still a child or "adult". That's where your husband can bring in his experiences and support his son.
Always ask what has happened, listen to his version, and do not immediately judge him. Give him the feeling that he can always talk about everything with you. That's very important right now. Tell him you want to trust him.
As for the taste of alcohol or cigarettes, that's what every teenager does. It really should not be drugs. Talk to him about the risks.
Negotiate over certain regulations with you. But make it clear that trust only works with trust. More rights also mean more duties.
Give each other a chance, be ready to talk and then each party survives this time.
Wtf no So if my mom just went to my laptop that would be the worst thing she could do and that just does not work
OK!
Yes, when I see a crowd I want to shoot it right with my AK…
Such a nonsense!
Okay, maybe that's not the best idea. Then she should ask the son if she is allowed to take a look
Haha yes that probably. Rather
Gladly, but maybe just looking at the laptop would not be a good idea. Ask him if you can watch what he plays with. Apparently you can see on the laptop, if someone was there, I did not know that
A child, in this case a boy, if he has had a good education so far, will remember when the time comes. What I mean by that also I have a son who is now 22 years old and was similar. It's normal for a boy of that age, because after all, in the middle of puberty, he can't be clear about his feelings. That's where all those temptations are, alcoholic cigarettes, and those gorgeous-looking girls. And then other guys who are all so cool / want to be. Sometimes you tend to do things that you do not really mean. Sometimes it's better to just let things happen and not punish them. Sometimes it's helpful to stop for a moment and to remember how you yourself were at that age. I think that makes it easier to survive this phase. By the way, I have a daughter who is 32, and with whom there were never such problems. I think boys are a bit harder in this regard. Do not always overvalue everything, and have confidence, trust in education and in your own child. Because learning to walk also sometimes means falling.
Liever Golf6180, thanks for the feedback. And yes! I also had two daughters in puberty, well, which means… They have never been as bad as he…
To my knowledge, he plays only 2 games, which means "The Sims4 (Vampires)", whatever that may be, and "League of Legends", which he tells me with the simple phrase, "You have to destroy crystals", explained…
If you have experience, are these any brutal or age-appropriate games?
No league of legends is a strategy game, and sims a construction game. Neither is really brutal
Sims 4 is a game where you can build your house, make a career, etc. Keep a reality game. I do not know League of Legends, but it does not sound very brutal.
Could also be that he secretly plays something. Most teenagers play gta and fortnite (both killer games).
In fact, he wanted to c.a. 1 half year to have this "Fortnite". When I was informed, he suddenly did not want to have it anymore and never started discussing it anymore. I even know GTA, but he does not have such games. He does not like brutal killer games Basically…
Fortnite is even free, he could have gotten it on his own. Does he have the games as a disc or digitally on the laptop
Fortnite is not a bad game either. He probably wanted it because of the hype back then
Okay… He has her digital. But do you have to kill people in this "Fortnite", right?
Well, actually. You collect weapons and eliminate other players. However, without blood, this is not the most powerful killer game that I know.
You can watch a few letsplays on YouTube. Then maybe you can talk to him again. I rarely play fortnite, mostly with friends only.
No corpses are shown, as soon as one dies, one is blighted. Then you are back in the lobby and you can play another round
OK!
