I had a very strange experience a few days ago and don't know what's wrong with me.
I'll try to explain it:
So I had misplaced my laptop (in the end it was on the shelf in the hallway) and no longer knew exactly where I had it. My mom needed him, so she got extremely angry and wanted to go to my room. And somehow I have such a strange feeling when someone walks into my room. So I fought against it with all my might. Even pulled her hair. Then at the end she came into my room and I buried myself down in the bathroom because I no longer wanted to go into my room. It felt ruined to be honest now that someone else had entered it. So I cried, put down the blinds and turned off the lights, and lay down in this tiny bathroom. Every time someone knocked it felt like they were blowing dynamite next to me and I had to shut my ears because it hurt so much. And the funniest thing, when everyone was gone and nobody talked to me, I smiled and fell asleep.
Of course I'm extremely sorry for my behavior and I'm not like that at all, but this evening left me with such a strange feeling because I didn't even know why I was acting the way I do and I still subconsciously got what I wanted in the end, because i was happy.
Can someone help me?
That sounds like an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Under duress, you do things that are illogical and that you really don't want to do.
It is important not to give in to these thoughts.
The ego, a defensive ego, plays king over its owner when you make it big.
Google: Osho Book of the Ego pdf free download.
