Is my parents' behavior okay? What should I do?

I haven't followed up at school since the beginning of the second lockdown (I'm in 9th grade). I haven't been able to do any tasks for a few weeks; not always because I don't understand them, but because I can't concentrate or get them to do them. I've also had attention problems since elementary school and have always been slower at work. In addition, I have developed depression, which not only has to do with the current situation, but rather summarizes all the negative feelings I have ever had.

On Sunday I confronted my family with the fact that I was depressed. I didn't go to school on Monday because I felt bad on Sunday evening. Yesterday my parents pushed me into a conversation about depression and it was actually good. Today I stayed home again and I don't know exactly why. But my father just came into my room and said he wanted to know why I don't want to go by taking my cell phone and saying: "Either you tell me now why you don't want to go or I'll take your cell phone."

I know he, my mother and my sister are just worried and I'm grateful for that. But that's not the right way to put it because I didn't want to talk at the time and I didn't want to be forced. It also made me remember a painful memory from my childhood when my father took my Nintendo and threw it on the floor. Once he broke my sister's laptop with a hammer. I'm making him sound crazy now, but he was just worried. Still painful.

It could have been something else that he took away and I would have reacted just as extreme. But my parents think that my cell phone has changed me, which I talked them out of several times.

I asked (yelled at) my mother to bring my cell phone back. She did it but now she wants to talk.

On Sunday I confronted my family with the fact that I was depressed.

Did you see a psychologist and got the diagnosis, or is it a self-diagnosis?

I think your parents are overwhelmed with the situation, I don't think it's okay, but they probably didn't know how to "get you to talk" any other way.

If I were you, I would talk to them and say that you don't think that's okay.

Well, we're all children of our parents without even having the experience of what it is like to be a parent, to have responsibility for a person. Well, at least most of them don't have this experience. Accordingly, we can't actually say whether this behavior is okay or not.

The fact is, when parents hear and notice that their children are mentally ill, all alarm bells will of course ring. Whether the way they express it is the right one is of course not undisputed. But you should finally open up. And not according to the motto "No, only if I want that!" but best of all very quickly. Or would you like to leave your parents uncertain, full of worries about how to help the child, whether you can still help, etc?

LET YOU Help! Also from your parents. It is of no use to you at all if you shut up all the time.

I think your father or your parents don't know how to help each other. I suppose you have never been diagnosed with depression. I probably don't know how to deal with it either, because as a parent you naturally only want the best for your child and want the child to be fine.

You started on Sunday and confided in them - continue to confide in them. It is certainly difficult for your parents to understand your behavior and they are probably just terrified that you will fail school and throw everything away. Believe me, the situation is just as difficult for your parents as it is for you.

Try to explain to them what is going on inside you. If you can't do this by talking, write it down and give them the letter. Try to find a solution with them (therapy, etc.).

That I've developed depression

Is this "official" or a self-diagnosis?
Don't hold it against me, but most of the people who have been treated for depression didn't realize they were sick until they broke down completely.

Go to your family doctor. Talk to him and get a briefing if necessary. Also discuss how your parents should be involved in appropriate therapy. This is the first step. Everything else will then show.

No, your parents' behavior is not perfect, but at least they show interest. That's worth a lot, especially when you consider that you presented them with a made-up diagnosis. Your parents could have reacted very differently to that.

You shouldn't talk yourself into depression, nor claim it to your parents, nor here in the forum. You can't judge for yourself whether you're suffering from depression and not a self-test or something.

Tell your parents that you are not doing well and that they should take you to the doctor. If they ever don't want to go, you can go alone.

I don't think you have to make up a diagnosis to get medical help first. You run a much greater risk of not being taken seriously.

So talk to your parents again and see the doctor.

I'm sorry, I didn't know you needed a diagnosis to be able to say this. It's my guess, not a self-diagnosis.

But, without a diagnosis, you can't know whether you are sick and, above all, WHAT you have. With cancer or corona, you would wait until a doctor has made a diagnosis. If one claims to have an illness like you do, it is called a self-diagnosis.
But just talk to your parents again about the SUSPICTION and go to the doctor.
It doesn't matter what you have at first. If you say that you are not doing well, that is enough for you to see a doctor.