I hate myself so much, to see my reflection makes me angry and before I struggled to punish myself for this look, now I start to cry because of this ugly body and immediately do sports until I can no longer. I started losing weight from 67kg to 39kg two years ago because I just didn't find myself beautiful, now I weigh 45-46kg and realize that it's never because of my weight, I'm just ugly. I also hate my character. I just annoy everyone anyway. And I was able to paint well, but my parents just said "ah.ok, pretty" and when my sister painted "oh! Wow! This is mega!"… I can't do well either I have been miscarried, allowing myself to love a boy secretly since 2017 and almost always just think of redeeming myself, ending the heartache, the stress of notes, fear of hurting others and above all. What should I do bittr with this life?! It says "yes you will meet many other types in your life"! Yes nice but these types - are not him! I can't imagine a real life without him, there's no one with whom I would speak openly and honestly. Except him. My best friend with whom I never argued in the 4 years, even she only sees me as a matter of course. When she was with me I would like to do something with her and she prefers to play with a buddy on my PC all the time or hangs on Handy. I just start telling SOMETHING about myself, she speaks again shortly afterwards. And only! I also feel no appreciation, love or have a job. Some go out and hang out with others. I have no one. So I go to my room and nag something at Netflix… When my tablet didn't work, I hit it. Also on my laptop and it broke. I burst into tears afterwards and always wonder what is wrong with me. I'm too stupid to be patient. I know I'm stupid. But who has read this all the way through here. Thank you for your interest and listening, sorry you wasted your time.
So the thing is we can't tell you if it's depression. I think you should talk to your family doctor or make an appointment with the therapist. It probably won't get better on its own
So first: you are not alone! Stay strong if it somehow works my love!
Second, a diagnosis can only be diagnosed by a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.
Third: So all I can see is: self-loathing, inferiority, guilt, loneliness, hopelessness.
All of these can be signs of depression and should all be taken very seriously. Depression is characterized by other things, but your case sounds serious. I suggest you seek help.
All the best and best regards. If you need help or questions, please write to me!
Oh thank you for your sympathy and support, mega dear of you.
Thanks for your help, but I just won't be able to trust anyone…
Why not?
If you really know that you will never (never never) tell someone, you should start slowly with self-therapy (this will be difficult but must be!). If you don't want to be helped (which I could understand), then you have to try to help yourself with all your strength.
My parents: They would send me straight to one and as soon as I'm not in a good mood normally "well? Are you in a bad mood again?! Does it start again or what"
Best friend: just no, it is not enough she has enough to her ears and would not understand it, but do so and that does not help
I only have the option to talk to myself, howl and then it's good.
I said therapist or doctor not family or friends
Yes, but I have to get there first and so my parents would find out about it. I also had a psychologist a year ago because of my anorexia at the time and no matter what I said, she always meant the perfect answer to my problems Back then, I had to know each other and I was always portrayed as stupid. In addition, I never trust those again, she just said everything to my parents when I forgot to say I didn't want to.
You can call it depression if it has been previously diagnosed by a doctor. Not previously. And with what I read - as unfortunate as it may be for you - as a victim myself, I'm almost certain that it will not happen to you. There are of course completely different forms of a depression and a depressive episode. But what personally annoys me is that everyone, but also really who is not doing well or has to struggle with other adversities, always thinks that he has depression without knowing what depression is, how it shows up and what it is for the person suffering from it.
I definitely don't want to talk about what you are experiencing at the moment, or ridicule it and I wish that your condition changes again soon. But as it reads you seem to have something like 1a heartache. That in itself is definitely not nice. Everyone who has had something like this knows that. And unfortunately, you often feel like that, or worse than you unfortunately do at the moment. But as unfortunate, sad, and dramatic it reads and may feel like it has nothing to do with depression. At least that's my impression of what you wrote.
Hope you get better soon… And yes it is true, there's not only one. If you have overcome this, and you will, you will recognize it yourself. All the best…
You don't need your parents to get there, public transportation
You can call everything depression once your doctor, or rather a psychiatrist, has diagnosed it. Before that, I would not make such a statement. You can't diagnose yourself anyway, and laypeople like you have here in the forum, just as little. So if you want to know if your problems are depression, you need to go to a psychiatrist.
Psychotherapy will then definitely be recommended to you, and you will also be given antidepressants if you have moderate depression. A hospital stay often makes sense for depression.
So much in advance: lovesickness, school stress and puberty are not a disease.
But behavioral therapy would certainly be helpful to build up your lack of self-esteem.
Thank you very much, I didn't know exactly what depression was, which is why I asked for it… I didn't want to sound like I knew what it was, I'm sorry. I just wanted answers and help, howling, problems, self-loathing and more I often cry when everything just collapses about me and has to keep it quiet so that nobody can get anything. If someone asked me why I was living, my honest answer would be that I had no opportunity.
But because I'm attached to dreams and hope to be with him, I rule out depression. It's just something different what I have. I'm just too stupid to get along and probably just dramatize everything.
Excuse me many times if I attacked you by saying that I would be mine, I should compare it directly to depression.
You don't have to apologize for it, I'm not angry and probably put it worse than it was meant to be. That you "talk" about it when you are not feeling well is always a small step in the right direction. Unfortunately, I also know what it's like when you are absolutely unhappy in love with someone and someone misses them like no one before. You have the feeling that your heart would burst, you can't sleep, you can't eat, you can't think and you are completely beside yourself.
But just because I know that very well, I also know that something like that goes by. You will fall in love again and the other will feel the same way. Maybe not next week, next month… But eventually it will be. This is as safe as the sun rises in the morning and the moon rises in the evening. Everything will be fine, but unfortunately it takes time. You will see that you will happily dance through your room at some point because there's this one - another boy - after all.
But it is clear that they will learn about it. I'm usually only at home, when I'm gone it is noticeable that if I invent something, you will experience it sooner or later and solely because I would have to get to a therapist or something. So… Hmm
Say you go shopping alone or you just go out a bit. And you come to a therapist without parents, from 14 you don't need a signature or anything else and since the first 5 hours are mostly free, that's no problem either
Yes, that would be a very good solution, should I no longer know, ok thank you very much.
I don't know if it's depression. Only a doctor can tell you that. The only thing I know is: change something. And I don't mean you. Have you already talked to your parents about it? (e.g. Because of the thing with the picture)
Have you already talked to your girlfriend and told her that you feel that she takes it for granted?
I have the feeling that you are a really nice person and helpful person. But you have to be aware that if you want things to change, you have to do it yourself. How should your parents, your girlfriend or your crush know how you are and what bothers you when you don't say it?
If I were you, I would talk to your girlfriend and your parents and move closer to the boy.
I know you're afraid to hurt others, but if you don't change anything, you will hurt them. Because at some point you will notice that something is wrong. So gather all your courage and talk to them about it.
And with your laptop. If you're angry, do sports, paint a picture…
The main thing is that you enjoy it and calm down.
That answer almost made me cry, so nice what you say. Thanks for this help and tips. It gave me insight and I think it couldn't have been better to give advice! Thank you very real. I will try to follow everything you said and even if I shy away from love for him, I will still try to be friends with him after the holidays, somehow.
That pleases me very much. I have already sent you a friend request, I would also be very happy if you would accept it and we could talk.
Your comment also touched me very much and I'm very happy that I was able to help you. ☺️
