Friend / school colleague always puts himself in the victim role?

A friend or schoolmate of mine is always in the role of victim in which he says very often such say: "My family is very poor", "We have almost no money", "I can't buy expensive things," "My Parents are always mean to me ", etc… He always wears pretty poor clothes…

I'm a friend of his, and I've already noticed that he has a lot of money, nice parents… Lately he told me "I'll buy a gaming laptop for 2000 euro". It bothers me so much as a friend that he always does so poorly although he has more than enough money…

What do you think?

Should he do it if you do not like it end the friendship

What do you think?

It is possible that he is wealthy and therefore fears being liked only for his money. That's why he talks his wealth small. Then he can be sure that his friends do not depend on him for his wealth, but like him for his own sake.

He wants you to like him because of his character and not because of his money, which suggests some small inferiority complexes.

Maybe he feels like he's poor. Wealthy people often do not consider themselves to be wealthy. It's always the question of what you measure yourself.

The same is true for the parents: if they appear nice to you, that does not mean that this is the same within the family.

If they are stingy, then I can understand why your friend has the feeling of being poor.

Just try to understand his point of view better by asking him open questions, for example what poverty means for him or in which points his parents are mean to him. Afterwards, you can critically question your points of view (but do not attack them personally), preferably with further questions.

A really open conversation can help you both.

I tried to ask him questions like that,

for example

"You have a 200 euro jukebox, why do not you buy a good sweater for 20 euro"

He: First Speechless, then "Ne do not buy me a sweater"

Yes, I would understand that he wants to find true friends,
but he presents himself as an outsider and voluntarily takes the bullying victim role.

And if I then z.b. When the group work with him and what he does again, then that also draws the attention to me…

He also has good sides,

If it bothers me too much I must finish it…

Try to saddle up a bit differently.

Ask him:

How do you define poverty?
Why do you think you are poor?
How are your parents mean to you?

The attitude in Germany to clothing is unfortunately such that often unwanted money is spent. I would not hang on to it.

Best to talk to him about it, I know that's easier said than done, but I had similar experiences and it brought me something. But if it gets too much for you I would end the friendship

His parents are apparently mean to him because:
- He apparently gets very little pocket money, he always says 1 euro a week, although he feels he has new money every day.
- He may be APPROVED 300 euro mobile phone only 1 hour per week use, although he is extremely often online WhatsApp etc, (at least 1-3 hours per day)

I already tried to talk to him
either he becomes Speechless or it comes a meaningless funny answer

The attitude in Germany to clothing is unfortunately such that often unwanted money is spent. I would not hang on to it.

Yes, you do not have to spend a lot of money on clothes, but I think if you buy a brand-free sweater for 10-20 euro, that's not much,

He has been pulling the same 2 sweaters for 2 years

Maybe he does not need a fancy dress style. And I'm not the richest person in the circle, but I'm like that too. You always have such thoughts as a teenager. And I first realize what nonsense I think.

But he presents himself as an outsider and voluntarily takes the bullying victim role.

And he does - possibly - with the intention that I have described to you. Or he does it for a completely different reason. Ask him.

Exactly

1 euro a week is too little. Where the question arises, whether the money you see, perhaps earmarked, for example, money to buy something to eat during the break.

A 300 euro mobile phone is not very expensive, even if you obviously like to put it down. Mobile phones now cost partly 1000 euro. Then there's the question of the age of the phone and such a ban… My cousins, for example, are masters in finding their cell phones when they get banned. Getting a ban is one thing to stick to another…

And yes, especially if you do not have that much money available, you have to look at how you spend the money. Your buddy is more important to have technical equipment and can walk around with old sweaters. Whether he has saved the money for it from the mouth or not outsiders often not with.

Although my experience is that often wealthy people complain about the lack of money, but actually enough are available, but I would be careful with the all over a pile.