My mother is a surveillance obsessed person. I'm f 15 and do not want this anymore. She's been doing this for about a year and I've been noticing this for a long time. Your "stalking attempts" are becoming increasingly pathetic. She bursts into my room without warning and asks something unimportant, asks me about everything and everyone, takes my cell phone and laptop from me without being able to switch it off and then looks at what I can do about it, etc. She also searches my every free minute Room. Examples of excuses for this include sentences such as: "I no longer knew in which drawer you were storing your socks". And you seriously thought they were in my chest of drawers next to my bed? So please.
It's no wonder that children eventually have massive secrets from their parents. And I have quite a few.
Because of her I have had total trust issues for some time (approx. 1 1/2 years) and I'm totally paranoid about guys or things like hidden cell phones that are supposedly no longer found and then suddenly lie in your desk after 2 years. I can't believe most of her things anymore and then rhyme the rest of it myself. But I don't investigate and search her room, that's against my morality of mother-daughter blah. At the dining table, the topic of nutrition and bodyshaming is a huge thing every time and what makes the whole thing worse: I'm the only one in the family to be overweight and have a second child syndrome (medical diagnosis, I have completely different interests than my siblings, a different social behavior, do not look similar and have poorer performance in school with more learning effort, etc. Pp.) and have 3 siblings, all of whom are permanently against me with my older one. I therefore refuse to take part in family excursions and can no longer endure the situation and also allow myself to doubt that this can go well in the long run.
It all sounds like a bad teen novel but I don't care - I just don't want it anymore. My privacy is sacred to me
how far do you think parents can go? I need my privacy and go crazy if it is destroyed so extremely.
Parents are allowed to intervene 100% in the privacy of children - i.e. You!
Check the room, check the cell phone, check the mails, … And may also forbid you to go out or have contacts to certain people:-)
Great…
If your mother is not at home, search her bedroom e.g. After erotic lingerie or something similar.
For the given occasion, you ask her how often and for what reason she uses this and that,
Then when she starts "what are you sniffing at my things?"
do you counter "what are you sniffing in mine?"
Yeah great…
Without your parents and siblings being able to comment on it, you will hardly be able to say anything about it.
But this only applies to "mature" citizens… ^^
I think it shouldn't be about being allowed, but rather about trust. That's probably totally disturbed for you.
Can you lock your room? If your mother just comes in for no real reason, lock up.
Handing over my cell phone is totally overdrawn. I never took my cell phone off my children and never looked up what they were writing to whom.
Talk to your mother about it, because I think it just doesn't work.
Ok what? 😂
Thanks in any case, but ne, unfortunately I can't lock my door… Must be regulated verbally
@ suna15,
that's great that you just confirmed it to me with Thumbs Up ↑
OK, what what?
Yes, parents have it easier with children to put themselves in and become very insecure and suspicious when they have one (or more) child (s) who do not.
With such children, they are practically on ice.
For the sake of simplicity, it is these children who do not fit (in the family, in the desired scheme), who are not ok and not yourself because you are overwhelmed in this matter.
By the way, overwhelming does not mean that you are not okay, it simply means that you can't deal with a situation so easily; because something or someone is not so easy, in that case it works as easily as expected.
Parents are only human too; those with strengths and weaknesses.
Because of this, there are lots of families with "black sheep".
You make your parents / mother perplexed because you are different; not as easy to knit / "treat" as your siblings.
But that doesn't mean that your mother loves you less!
Of course this is no consolation, it is an attempt to explain, from a grandmother who was once almost the "black sheep" of a family (my little brother just surpassed me - he suffered a lot and I with him!).
I also have a daughter, whose behavior was not / difficult to understand for me, it was very stressful for me as a mother and gave me many worries. I also felt guilty because I couldn't do justice to this daughter, because I couldn't help her out of her mess.
All of these things are nothing but misunderstandings.
You have to learn to understand that and you have to learn to forgive. Nobody deliberately hurts their own child!
Thank you! 🙏🏻
Was related to the idea of lingerie. Really weird if you imagine the situation. Well.
This is not a reason for joy, it is sad.
Be thankful for it!
In general, parents do not search anything unless something endangers you. Just delimit yourself and lock your room. And make a password on your laptop and cell phone that your parents don't know.
