I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months and haven't had any nerves since then. He is morbidly jealous and by his way sometimes so sometimes so. Sometimes really caring and then completely frozen. We almost finished last week because he was on my cell phone at night when I was sleeping and dragged my whatsapp onto his laptop and read all the messages. With the reason because I recently didn't give him my cell phone to look through and thought something was wrong. Since then I've had real paranoia that something is coming again. He always tries his full male role that he has to say that. Put me under pressure with things like he wants to get married soon, etc. I'm at the end I can't do it anymore but it hurts so much because I love him. How do I get out of there? ๐
Well, that means that you either have to leave it or learn to live with it.
Love alone is not enough for a relationship, I always say.
Just make a clear cut. He won't change and you won't be happy with him.
Better now than later. It just gets harder over time.
That has no future! He trusts you zero, is pathologically jealous, controls you and talks about marriage after only 3 months, sorry but he has one on the waffle!
Please run as fast as you can, even if you love him and it hurts firstโฆ The guy will break you if you stay with him. Please be sensible, at some point you will find someone who trusts you, treats you with respect and really loves you and does not see you as his property.
How do you get out of there
Keep in mind:
I'm worth something
I deserve a trusting, equal relationship on an equal footing
Nobody is allowed to violate my privacy without my permission (e.g. Confidentiality of letters)
I'm old enough, independent enough, responsible enough to maintain my own social contacts completely independently. This also includes closing new contacts and deciding which contacts to terminate and why.
I don't want to be a bird in a golden cage
I have no desire or the permanent physical and psychological strength to endure this constant roller coaster ride in the relationship.
I want to feel comfortable, secure and relaxed in a relationship - not as if I have to constantly sneak on tiptoe and pay attention to every word.
YOU are closest to you. YOU are important to YOU.
Love is a feeling triggered by chemical processes in the body. Nourished by hope and the "beautiful little moments". But if the stupid moments predominate and you can't act detached / can't relax within the relationship, then you are exposed to constant stress - and thus damage yourself in the long term.
Google times "Narcissism and what it does with a partner", I think you will find something for your problem.
