I'm 20 years old and I have a very weird quality or mindset and do not know if that's good or bad.
So I'm working my 15 year and know what it means to make money. I had to buy everything by myself. I was not bought by my parents. My brother looked the whole thing different, although he is only a year younger than me but he was paid the license, new PC, etc.
I have never reproached my parents for it, on the contrary I give my parents for their birthday or just something in contrast to my brother who has no money because he is a student.
My parents have a bad conscience and we want to return the money for the driver's license or buy a laptop or my rack.
But I reject any money from you even if I could use it well, I even reluctantly accept 20 euro and if I do it somehow I get a bad conscience later so I put it back in their bank account.
The second characteristic is that I prefer others. I would also like to have the iPhone 11, I have the money easy but I think that it is too bad for the money… Yesterday I talked to my brother what he thinks of the iPhone 11 and he said that he will get it if he Has money. I told him that I'll buy it for him…
So you see, it's the same everywhere with me. Even if I'm up for a kebap, I wonder if it's worth it, but if someone else likes kebap I would pay for it right away.
What is that way of thinking? I can't accept anything and do not care for myself but for others already.
I would accept the money your parents are you have done a lot for you have gone to school for you and everything
You are not worth anything to yourself.
Your parents did not learn how important you are.
Now maybe they are financially better and they are more experienced than then.
Your brother can enjoy it now.
The same is true for you too.
Your parents want to do better now, including you!
Take it!
It will be a pleasure.
Do you think you wanted to give someone something and he refuses or gives it back to you?
You are obviously a very selfless person!
This is a very nice feature on the one hand, but it can also get you in trouble!
We're self-employed and have an employee who has serious financial problems. I've often talked to my husband about it and said that I just do not understand it: He's good at living with us, he's extremely modest, he does not go on vacation, does not treat himself to new clothes, etc.
So, and now we have learned that thanks to him, his daughter has a debt-free condo at 25!
It's nice that you're nice, but if that niceness degenerates into stupidity, you should change that!
You went to school for her
Well, for some the school was free, for some - free…
If you go to school for your parents, then my condolences. Do not seem to have learned much then.
You do not learn for parents or anyone else, but for your own future…
Yes, thinking is very counterproductive.
Imagine how you feel, if you want to make someone happy, and who rejects it. Would not it make you much happier to give something to the other? It's the same with others. You would certainly make your parents very happy if you accept their gifts.
I told him that I'll buy it for him…
Did you think that this can be uncomfortable for your brother?
Besides, you might not expect money back, but then you may subconsciously expect the other to give you positive attention or you would absolutely like to be rated likable. Both are destructive.
Try to read in on your behavior.
By the way, I'm similarly knitted, even if I'm off now. Although it has never affected my parents but only other people.
You first have an awareness of money and spending and are very economical or consumer conscious. That is very positive in itself!
In addition, you are also generous, which is also very positive in principle, but probably partly from a vague feeling of guilt or a sense of obligation. That's not so good, because anyone who knows this can manipulate you very well to buy him something.
Solution: Gift budget, possibly a total budget and one for different people (sub budgets). Then you can say to yourself after some time, "that he can't get now, he has just recently got the other and it must first come back into his budget money!"
Concerning. Iphone: If you buy your brother a lot, you give him no chance to even develop a sense of money and savings. Better would be something like "I'll give you x €" or "if you make y for me, you can earn x €" (shopping, help somewhere, etc.).
You may also set yourself a small budget for expenses such as food on the way, etc., so that you can do that without a guilty conscience now and then.
