Moved in together and now a lot of arguments?

I'm 25 and my girlfriend 24 have been together for a good 3 years. We were always very happy and never actually argued. We have been living together for 3 months now and are arguing a lot. That's why I've often slept on the couch. I do a lot of housework and I'm happy when I can watch TV on the couch. She mainly lies in bed in the bedroom and is on her laptop, cell phone or playing ps4. She forbids me to play with my people on Ps4 and she also forbids me to play a game. Not because I would gamble too much, but because the talk gets on her nerves. I'm allowed to gamble alone. However, I have gambled with them for years and they are my friends, but according to you, friends are only friends if they always come by when you feel bad. I'm not even allowed to gamble with my brother. She says I should look for hobbies. I ride a motorcycle and fly as a hobby and have gambled a lot over the past few years. Because of the weather, you can just play and chill. As a compromise, we said I can gamble with my people once a week and clean the kitchen completely every day. Nevertheless, she still forbids me to gamble. Another example would be that her parents were there one afternoon and then she "chilled" alone in the bedroom for 3 to 4 hours. In the evening when I wanted to go to sleep, she said I shouldn't lie down, she doesn't feel like me now, she wants her space, etc. Slowly it annoys me and I think about where this should lead. The problem is that I couldn't afford the rent alone and we bought the entire facility together. Does anyone have a hint?

It was like that for me as well

sorry: but if it starts like this it has no future

pulling together is the ultimate test of whether it fits or not

The early days of living together are certainly not easy. Think about it, before you might have spent the night together or maybe spent a vacation together - but those are more relaxed situations, without everyday stress.

If you then live together, you gradually notice more and more. There it is the shaved hair in the drain, there the smelly socks lying around next to the bed, at night the snoring partner or a thousand cosmetic products fly around in the bathroom, … And and and…

You get excited about it, you talk to each other about it, you find compromises with each other. The housework is either strictly divided up or divided up in one way or another by mutual agreement or done together. Some couples agree that everyone should do what they can do well / like to do / consider really necessary.

Another problem with living together is: You no longer have the opportunity to keep a spatial distance to come down / to be to yourself. Depending on the type of living, you can withdraw to any other room. But that's about it. That might stress you out at times.

And sometimes you also see more and more warning signals in everyday life together.

It never occurred to me to forbid anything to my partner. Especially not social contacts or his hobbies. Conversely, I wouldn't have anything prescribed to me.
Nevertheless, there are agreements to come to terms with each other.

Was that only a fleeting thought of yours so far, this "What if we split up, we bought the facility together"? Or has it already become a more targeted thought?

Are you both in the lease together and through which of you are currently running all the current bills for the municipal utilities, telephone provider, rent, etc? No, don't answer it - it's none of my business. But these are things that you should definitely pay attention to.

You write that you can't afford an apartment on your own. But what about a flat share?

That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. According to your description, you should pull the rip cord as soon as possible.

An old joke: when did you meet your wife? - After we got married.

Obviously, your relationship only worked as long as you had enough time without each other. Apart from that: A partner who forbids you to do something or only allows you to do something in return is not your partner - on an equal footing - but instead presents you as a jumping jack. She pulls the rope and you kick. Be a man and don't put up with this. So your relationship has no future. Find your own place to stay, move out - let her pay the rent after all - divide up the furniture and book the episode as an instructive experience.

Is she the mother and you the little child or what?

Have a seat through human. In a partnership there's no "forbidding"