I will briefly describe my situation: I'm female and 19 years old, I still live with my parents because I'm doing my Matura this year and can't afford an apartment of my own. The problem is that my father has aggression problems and takes them out on me again and again (he also choked my mother once). It comes to the point that my father makes me so down and insults me in the long run and if I say something against it, he hits me. The last time he hit my laptop against my head, I had scratches on my face, my glasses and the laptop were broken. Today there was another argument and he bent my hand too much that my fingers are blue and I can no longer move them. I can still remember many situations when I was a child and he pulled my hair out of the toilet, etc… However, I'm afraid to go to the police because I'm dependent on my parents and I lose everything would. My mother doesn't want me to go to the police because she is too scared of my father herself and she won't support me. After all, I can't afford an apartment of my own. Does anyone know online (chat) advice centers where I can turn or does anyone have tips?
You don't have to go to the police right away, but you should definitely get help as it is unlikely that your father will change. You can talk to your friends, use anonymous help lines or contact people you know. Even if the situation seems hopeless at the moment, you are not alone and there's a solution for everything!
I just don't know where I can / should turn instead of the police
Your initial situation is really serious. As hard as you find it and as scared as you are, you should act. What your father does is clearly punishable and nobody has to put up with physical or emotional violence.
You can get free advice and support from the youth welfare office or from advice centers like Caritas. In your case, the police are also a good point of contact. It can order the offender to be banned from entry for several days and also take further measures.
If you don't dare to do all of this, which is understandable because you are in a very dangerous situation, you could try school. There's usually a psychologist or a contact person for precisely such cases.
You may also try to find help from friends. If you tell them your situation, they will surely help you.
Go to the police in any case, no matter what your mother wants. In the end, it will help her too. Violent offenders do not change, they increase violence. Inform the youth welfare office in any case. Do it quickly, these institutions will help you.
Thanks for the answer, do you know if I can contact the youth welfare office even though I'm of legal age?
You will almost certainly have a contact person at school who is employed precisely for such cases. Otherwise, depending on where you live, there's a youth welfare office, social worker, women's refuge, emergency number for violence in the family. Since you are writing 'Matura', you may be from Switzerland. In Zurich there are always posters with an emergency number for such situations. You can certainly find this number on the Internet.
I wish you lots of strengh! - Perseverance doesn't seem an option to me. You can defend yourself against it. Nobody has to be beaten up.
You can definitely try
If the youth welfare office is no longer responsible for you, they can tell you the right contact person! There's always a solution!
Please believe in it and be strong!
For a certain transition period after you have come of age, you can.
