It now seems decided, after yesterday's phone call. I had a kind of separation talk with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago, it was still a desire for rest after her university stress and time for herself. Yesterday, however, she has stated that she no longer really feels love for me and feels better about herself. She's so sorry because she cares a lot about me and that's been her longest and most important relationship so far. She does not want me to suffer. It can't be a goodbye, because we would be so incredibly close. No idea, I'm devastated, can't do anything with the phrasing. I'm scared of a year full of lovesickness. Have read about guides from the contact block to get away from the partner. But now I still have personal things in the apartment, clothes, laptop and Technikkrams, actually their Christmas gifts. I do not know how to work anyway and I wonder if I should calm down first or go straight tomorrow to pick up all my things. And I'm honest, internally I'm glad that my stuff is still there, as if everything was fine. And I long to see her again, even if it's such a sad occasion. I also miss our common animals, a guinea pig family and the fish babies in the giant aquarium. I long to enter the shared apartment again. And would delay this event too, in order to have the anticipation on it. But I was so quasi, I can't sleep there and it is no longer my home… Should I go straight away to take all rubbish and keep the contact lock? Or should I first come down and be caught in 2 weeks and calmly pack? I'm so scared of the upcoming grief phase.
I advise you to pick up your things as soon as possible. It's painful but better for yourself. In a few weeks, only old wounds that have already started to heal will be torn open.
Do it soon. Then you have it behind you. If you're afraid of not being able to bear it, saying goodbye to her again, then maybe she'll ask you to send your things.
