We all know that the current situation outside is not easy… But can you still forbid me to do everything now? We live in the same household.
I would probably have moved out long ago if my mother didn't finance my private studies. She has always been a bit 'extreme' and likes to control me. But if I don't do what she wants, she always has to go beyond all limits. Or is she right after all? Probably she can secretly guard me via my cell phone, always manages to log into my social media accounts and my laptop never stays untouched. Passwords are constantly being changed. The microphones that she already hid in the apartment weren't enough. But unfortunately I don't know her any other way…
The fact that she has not accepted my relationship with a girl for 2 years and tries everything to break it (she would allegedly only manipulate me) has not been a secret for a long time and unfortunately my partner's family is no better either (tell lies about me and about my partner).
Now of course everything is due to Corona ^^
Thousands of calls per minute when I'm not at home, no wonder. But now I'm not allowed to do anything. I can get infected from my girlfriend. I'm not allowed to go to her home, or to my home either, of course. Not outside either, otherwise I'll catch a cold. I'm a singer and I have to take care of my voice. Since she doesn't know what I'm doing, I'm not even allowed to go out much longer. I understand it somewhere, but that doesn't mean that she can lock me up now, does it? And if I'm not home for 10 minutes, she'll call my partner's parents right away!
I'm sorry for this text, but I'm really perplexed and confused. I've been carrying this situation around with me for a long time and no longer know whether I'm doing something wrong or not. I'm 21 years old and my mother thinks she has the right to control me. She hasn't known me for a long time, but thinks I'm naive and stupid and irresponsible.
Please share your opinions.
Okay, I thought I had wicked parents, but that tops it all, would be moving right away
REAL
According to your description, you are not doing anything wrong.
Your mother has no right to "work around" in your private life. She probably has an obligation to control. Microphones in the room, how monstrous that is. Purely "theoretically" she can no longer forbid you anything as far as your lifestyle is concerned.
I dare say that your mother would surely find help from a psychotherapist.
But since you are financially dependent on her, if conversations are unsuccessful, you will experience it until you move out.
I would recommend you to create acc that you don't know anything about change the password of your laptop, it would be best if you bring your father on board and explain the situation to him
She's always of the opinion that I'm going the wrong way, and that's why she does it. She always ruined all my friendships, talked to my professors and singing teachers about what I'm doing wrong. She firmly believes that my partner destroys me and manipulates me and wants me not to get along with my mother. Unfortunately, she keeps threatening to kick me out if I don't come home as she wants and so on. She's always right and she's the only one who wants good for me. Damn it.
Unfortunately, my father died 2 years ago. But I know that he also had a lot of stress with my mother.
My condolences
The best thing would then be a person to whom your mother is close, e.g. Grandma or grandpa, and then explain the situation to them
And on top of that, you can display them for invasion of your privacy, maybe the money is enough for your studies
Have no one. I'm completely alone with her.
Does your mom have no friends?
Yep
Which money? Personal injury compensation?
Can't you make yourself more independent of your mother in some way? Can you apply for student loans?
Have you ever sought mental help yourself? E.g. Asked a psychologist what strategy you can use to cope better with the current situation? Because seriously> Your mother's behavior is very abusive. She probably does this because she assumes that you are still financially dependent on her. She does not think about the fact that you will leave your parents' house at the first available opportunity.
Please really consider whether you are getting psychological support, for yourself, for your partner, for dealing with your mother.
Stay strong and I hope you can find a way to cope with your situation in a positive way.
