I have a question for the girls who have breast implants. I have a friend who has had breast implants for two years. Simply because her family has previous breast cancer and she had a genetic test. She then had her breasts removed and rebuilt. Your op was almost two years ago. We never had any problems, either with sex or with sports. For a week she has been telling me that it bothers her to put on a top and that it presses on her upper body. The funny thing is, as soon as she has nothing on, she has 0 problems. When sleeping, she can sleep on her breasts and during sex everything is ok too. As soon as she wears something, no matter bra or tshirt.
I think it comes from tension. She has been working from home for weeks and is at home with her laptop on the sofa. When we're out with a friend and she has been bathing, she doesn't notice anything. So as far as she is relaxed.
My problem is:
she cries all the time because she also has an anxiety disorder. And I don't know how to help her. She increases herself fully and is afraid that she will not tolerate her implants. But that wouldn't come overnight. And she has no problems either, no pain, nothing.
gals i need support. How can I make it clear to her that it's all a matter of the head?
If your friend is afraid that something is wrong, I would just go to the doctor with her so that her conscience is calmed 😊 she can describe her problems there. Maybe they could also do an ultrasound of the breasts and then she would definitely have certainty
Basically you have to try to take her fear away. Don't downplay anything. Never say something like "you are just imagining it" or "everything will be fine" or "nothing will happen"… She doesn't want to hear something like that and is allergic to it. Just tell her that you can understand her worries. Listen… Answer if she asks something, but as I said, never downplay anything. Most importantly… Try to make physical contact when she feels bad to make her feel safe. A feeling of "someone is there for you". In your case, I would try not to touch the breasts when making physical contact… Normally I would say you should hug the person. In that case, I don't know how she would react. You just have to try that.
But do you think that comes from the head? I mean in all honesty, as soon as she's relaxed, she doesn't "notice" anything. And a week ago everything was fine too. What should have happened now in that time?
The way you describe it, I could imagine it
What I say helps in any case. Even if it's something else. Of course you would have to go to a doctor if that continues. But getting into a trauma never makes sense and that is exactly what I would try to prevent.
The fact that it is not a problem during sex and sleeping, but with a top, it sounds more like a headache to me. Does she have it on both sides? Then that would be even less likely… I would say…
oh… But do not come under any circumstances with such "clever" reasons why she should calm down now
Yes, also on both sides and the whole thing overnight. And never any problems beforehand. Only since this week. I think it comes from tension. Because she always sits on the couch with her laptop in her home office.
I'm trying to stay calm, but even if we go to the doctor, she says herself. How should she describe that to him? As soon as she has nothing on everything is fine and as soon as she wears a bra or sweater does it press on her chest? But not if you touch her naked. She also has an annual breast ultrasound in three weeks, but I don't want her to go into it for three weeks now.
You are pretty much right
and this getting in, that shouldn't happen… So you have to get her out of it. Very important, that can't be done with words. If the emotional world is mixed up, then you have to try differently to… Um, to distract it, so to speak. You have to bring it back to reality with your thoughts. Then at some point you may be able to make factual arguments. But, maybe in question form.
The important thing is that she doesn't lose trust in you and that's why advice is not good or things like "you have to see it that way". And only in a second phase can you get them to think about it for themselves. Maybe you will try it out that you massage her neck? (of course without saying why) … Or just do a foot massage… So that you can relax completely. And maybe then she'll figure out that her pain will go away.
The brain works strangely, especially the part that creates anxiety and tries to protect us from danger.
How do you know so well?
these are definitely good tips, thank you very much.
I notice more and more that she is getting in, because she often says "do you see it hurts right now" or then all of a sudden she cries and says that it is like a week ago and what if she has an allergy to that Has breasts or they need to be replaced. She no longer goes into the sport on fear and moves on in her fearful position. I notice how she sleeps or sits on the sofa. : / this embryo position: /
I had a girlfriend (and I admit, I would like her back) who has quite big problems… That's why I started looking at it and last year I almost did a degree in psychology (everything is available online today, from which this is already practical)
I have studied it intensively and above all with the latest findings on "how is our brain structured? And how does it work?" employed
and… I then also started attending courses and talking to those affected (be they former victims, therapists or people who are currently having a problem) … I learned a lot about myself and then started these theories on myself to check yourself
… It was something like that for me
when she cries and e.g. Say that she wants it to be like before, then show understanding and show her that you are there… Sit next to her and put your arm around her, for example… All these things can work wonders
if you don't know what to do next, think about what a mother would do if she were her little child… I think that's always a good starting point
Madness! My respect. I'm so sorry to hear from the girlfriend. Do you know what's my concern I'm afraid that I will "stamp" them. It sounds to me that it's nothing medical. So I assume 90 percent that everything is ok with the breast implants. But in the end I don't want that which is medical. I mean she doesn't have her ultrasound appointment until mid-November. I've already made a pro and contra list to consider for myself that in the end it's not about your implants but your head. I'm a man, I try to be more rational about it.
Thank you
and… I understand you perfectly… One possibility would be for you to tell your girlfriend exactly what you said now… Let her know that you are worried, that you keep asking yourself whether you are seeing it correctly… That you don't want to play it down, but you have evidence to the contrary… Something like that… Of course again without giving the impression that she is stupid or sees something wrong or overreacts… What is not always easy, I have to admit
One could also say, show her your vulnerability in this matter
God how complicated sometimes. After what I've told you, do you think I have to worry about the implants? She was so happy about the move and relieved that it reduced her risk of breast cancer. And now she's going crazy about it. And really a week ago everything was ok. Not a word of it. I wonder as if something has happened. I mean she's more stressed at work. There must be some trigger that makes her focus on it all at once.
I don't think you need to worry. A mutual reaction after such a long time and then at the same time… I think that is extremely unlikely. Sure, I don't really know that. But… Otherwise you could call the doctor without telling her anything to let him advise you on whether he can figure it out.
You are probably right about the trigger. Finding and resolving it can help, but it doesn't always have to be. You can even solve these problems without going to the root. Which would certainly not be harmful if she understood how she works and reacts. But to do this, of course, you first have to create trust and reassure them. Difficult… I know… But talking, showing understanding, creating security and slowly opening things up, that helps… Incidentally, exposure therapy also works very well, but you should only start with it when you know that it will participate and see you as trusting.
… Well, psychology. Really super complicated… And… Maybe I'm completely wrong.
What is exposure therapy?
That people have to deal explicitly with the "something"… In the case of a dog fear that you will confront a dog and slowly try to overcome the dog fear with certain suitable accompaniments and exercises
So, not with… I'll say talking in the office, but really touching the dog or climbing the ladder if you are afraid of heights or something
and here it would be something like talking to the doctor about everything… Open, honest
I have to write to you again because her condition will last for a week. I thought things were going up yesterday. She said yesterday the bra doesn't bother anymore and everything is back to normal. And she didn't think about it all day. Today she even dared to train again and just came home crying. She said she could not have done yoga, her top had pressed against her chest again and she had the feeling that something was on her chest. She said if she had taken off her shirt and only bra and tank top then it would not have bothered her. She says she just wants to feel like a week ago and doesn't understand where it's all from. And that she is afraid again of what is with the boobs. Do you have a tip? Do you think pro contra list would be of any use?
Well… Maybe you can explain how our brain processes fear… Something must have happened, like a touch, a feeling, a movement… Something that triggered this fear again in the brain
If you know what is causing it, you could correct that by triggering it and then reassuring yourself that it is a false alarm. If you have done this a few times, the brain will eventually understand it again on its own.
you can show her this too
is just english
First of all, thank you very much. I also called the doctor, but unfortunately he couldn't figure it out either. Also didn't really know how to describe it. He said as long as there's no pain throughout and everything is ok in the naked state, he can't explain it. Unfortunately, I just couldn't teach her how to do it. She now reads a lot on the Internet and said she found an article on the Internet that talked about sensitive breasts after the operation. And of course she panics again. But I think to myself, hey Melanie, that has been ok for almost two years now, but the sensitivity of the breasts doesn't only develop after two years. Uf. I'm really tense myself right now.
If the doctor says it couldn't be, then we were probably right… Then it's almost certainly an unfounded fear and that is explained quite well in the video
make it clear to her that she is not disturbed and that she is not crazy or clumsy… But that something has almost certainly caused a chaos of feelings
what exactly, maybe she can tell you… What happened when it started? Or… May have been a few weeks before… Something like that can develop over weeks and only then appear later… But, maybe she remembers… And otherwise she may at least remember what triggered this fear in yoga today
then you could try to tackle this and delete this false emotional memory… I always look at the brain as a database… And right now a data set is defective… It just happens. You have to correct or delete it and everything is fine again:-) … Is of course not that easy, but very, very feasible
Thanks for your tips! I definitely know that she had a lot of stress a few weeks ago and then in my opinion it all started
There's a very high probability that this is related… If she understands that, it could help
