How far can parents go?

A friend of mine (14) already suffers from the control compulsion of her mother who monitors every movement on the laptop with this Microsoft function - which controls and / or can block every page, records how long it is where, etc. As well as limits internet times and apps locks. Screen time is also active on your smartphone, so she can hardly do anything even there. Is there a limit from which point this is no longer justifiable and / or it can simply no longer be beneficial?

Personally, I only know her through Discord and I only really have it because of my work as admin of a server on which she likes to spend her internet time and I teach her some html here and there to get her in the direction after she has requested it. I'm also not a teacher or anything like that, but I think that this can hardly be a good thing, how can she still learn to take care of herself or to regulate herself - that has absolutely nothing positive left or am I wrong?

Well - whether someone else thinks it makes sense or not, the mother will not care. It's just so.

It's about whether somewhere must have a limit, otherwise it is no longer beneficial

You mean legally? Nope. Nor could she give her daughter any internet access at all.

It's definitely not okay, but what can she do about it?

She can't really bring her parents to court…

The internet blocks can be useful. How it looks legally a different matter. I would say control of laptop etc invades privacy

The controls are easy to bypass, just have a look at yt

The youth of today… Maybe better that way if they are monitored.

There are also many dangers on the internet!

Always see everything positively!

Legal and / or youth welfare office.

Which arguments could help you in theory to talk to her about the topic. I think that something should change there, because that can't be good for you.

It's not my beer in itself, but I think about it a lot because I feel very sorry for her, can't even watch series, but is also a class 1 student and mostly spends her free time walking around outside and getting bored.

And you mean, the mother lets herself be chattered into her upbringing by a - excuse me, but that's how she will see it - run-around, stupid internet nerd?

You can of course turn to the youth welfare office. But first they will seek a conversation together. One could develop an argument for this, although it is not so easy to curtail the right to bring up children.

The youth welfare office will not be interested, they will not find it bad if a 14-year-old is not allowed to go unchecked on the Internet. They would probably find that rather positive.

Is a bit critical, not that her mom is taking a bearing xd

Kp she has to know… Either she wants it or not, she doesn't get her parents' blessing anyway…

I wouldn't interfere that much, I just want to give her advice on what she could do or try.

And yes, we all know that the internet is dangerous, but your mother can't always keep an eye on which pages she is on, so she can now learn how to recognize and deal with hazards - with the help of her parents, of course.

what if she is 20 and overwhelmed with every little situation or the first hoax comes to her

Look for the conversation and perhaps come up with meaningful arguments, I personally wanted to clarify here, among other things, whether I'm alone in the opinion that the shot with the control can backfire

You don't need to tell me that, nor do I find it useful.

The youth welfare office will listen to her, advise her and, if necessary, initiate a joint conversation.

I don't even know if they are checking properly - only that they can see which programs they are using and can use when and for how long, as is the case with websites

So maybe she should first turn to the youth welfare office anonymously, describe the situation and, depending on the reaction / ideas, go further?

You can't contact the youth welfare office anonymously. But yes, she should describe her situation and just see what the youth welfare office can offer her.

Can't you just write it down by email and accidentally forget your name?

Who do you want to write to? The youth welfare officer? The secretariat? The intern? There's a clerk who is responsible for your girlfriend. To find out, you first have to write / call and tell them the address or at least the street. It may be that that is enough, it may be that you need a range of house numbers. The city is divided into sectors, there's a clerk for each sector and the sector is determined on the basis of the street and the house number range. But sure, she can try.