My friend has been unemployed for two months. I don't think that's bad and since yesterday I've started working again.
Yesterday he gambled for 9 hours.
While I work, he just sits at the laptop and the rest is up to me. So I told him today to please clean the kitchen.
Then he was done and each time he leaves the soaking wet sponge over the wood. He does that every time he cleans the plates. I always do the housework in silence, but he always has to complain. Then he gets really aggressive
I checked the sponge after he finished. I then said to him with a smile, "Every time honey". It was really fun for me, but suddenly he takes two bottles of skin together and says loudly "I WAS NOT DONE!"
And then was really aggressive. Then changed and slammed the door.
I'm just scared, you know, that the thread will break with me at some point and I'll really freak out. Until now I was always calm. But as soon as I freak out, there's usually no escape. I believe in horoscopes and I'm Taurus. Anyway, I have been under psychological treatment for about a year for depression, panic attacks and stress. If he does something like that, it doesn't exactly get better, but he continues to trigger it.
Why is he doing this?
I think he's mad at himself and disappointed in himself. He takes these negative feelings out on you.
Very stressed boy, has other problems - it's not up to you - he'd get upset about everything if it came up
He would have to get to know himself better - for that you would probably have to break up: /
He's probably just dissatisfied with the situation.
It is not always easy for everyone to be unemployed.
But that doesn't give him the right to act like that.
The problem is also that he currently has no other occupations.
Maybe he feels overwhelmed. Some men have a tendency to think that they have to solve any problem others bring up immediately because otherwise they are failures. Try to speak honestly to him about your feelings calmly and without too many resolutions in first-person sentences. If that doesn't help, you can do couples therapy or something
It would be important to know whether he was like that before he became unemployed. That is not evident here.
If he's only been on it since he was unemployed, then the matter can be explained to me.
There are several reasons for this:
-The situation overwhelms him and stresses him enormously.
-Because he doesn't have a job, he feels like a failure or something like that and he tries to compensate for that by making a loud voice.
-Of course it can also be that by checking whether he has done his job well and you then point out to him that something was just not good, he stresses even more (above example)
The next time you ask him for something, thank him and praise him, should he not have done something right in your eyes, just secretly do it right. But look how he reacts to it, he might feel better and be more open to criticism. Because if you always tell him that this and that is not right, then I can already imagine why he is freaking out. How would you feel if you were never given praise but constantly criticized?
It's all just guesswork, but you can try the self-test. See what happens.
Hi how old are you When is he like that? Does he drink alcohol or do drugs? Have you ever talked about it? Do you discuss this in therapy?
Both 35 almost. No, he doesn't take either of them, he's just extremely addicted to gambling. And yes, I always discuss that in therapy. For me the breakup was like a child today.
He was like that before. But it has also gotten better what I think he's a choleric. He also never admits when he's done wrong. He's always mad at everyone and gets pretty flippant with friends too. Especially when playing, he gets really angry.
